Nightmares Archives - The Road To Mental Wellness

The inner wars.

The Inner Wars inside may seem more powerful than you, but you embrace the supports available, you can take back some of your power.
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Before you reading, The Inner Wars, I would like to take a moment to thank everyone who has supported The Road To Mental Wellness, your contributions keep me going….. Thank you! Any donations are greatly appreciated. To donate, please click the donate button below

So, here I am, up early for yet another morning. Sleep and I, we’re not exactly getting along as of late; what else is new. How it longs to have my nightmares be a thing of pure fiction. Alas, they were chiselled into my brain in real time.

What’s worse, is that as they interfere with my sleep more and more, my resilience falls victim to the insomnia they create. My sleep so violent, my sheets are often tied in knots around me. Such as life I suppose.

Though my eyes are heavy and my mind shrouded in fog, I am still determined to win the inner wars. In my fire service years, I was no stranger to overcoming adversity while working through exhaustion. I use that as the benchmark to keep going. Luckily, I had a team around me that I could depend on, and they could depend on me too.

the importance of support when battling mental illness.

No huge emergency nor great personal battle can be overcome without the support required to make the difference that is needed. That’s why those with mental illness do better when they accept the support that is available to them. It can be tough to say “I need help.” But if you are to win the inner wars, you must understand that you cannot do it alone.

So, in my view, the turning point in any healing journey is the point where one embraces their sickness. Furthermore, it is made easier by turning to those who you know will support you best.

While it’s true that these two factors go a long way in the battle, it is still your fight. And because it is your own personal battle, you must initiate and communicate what you need. A scary prospect but in my experience, building support around you make all the difference.

If we swallow our pride and work past our fears, we shall eventually overcome. While we may never be completely cured, we can get to a place where we can manage a life that is not ruled by the inner wars.

Please reach out! Check out our Mental health resources page.

Time isn’t the deciding factor in recovery, it’s the plan one executes over that time that truly heals.
Jonathan Arenburg.

20 authors from the military and emergency services tell their story of PTSD.

If you are struggling please go here for help: Crisis Services Canada

Checkout our Mental Health Resources Page

Contact me on my Facebook page: The Road To Mental Wellness

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Jonathan ArenburgLeave a comment

Leave me the f*** alone!”

Just leave me the F*** alone
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One thing that I have always found both sad and interesting about my own mental health journey; is the paradigm between the health benefits of sleep and the lack thereof. Just imagine how much better life would be if nightmares didn’t constantly intrude on good night sleep?

It certainly appears to me, that the key to better mental health is a solid regime of good night’s sleep over a long period of time. It is often said that consistency is key. This, as far as I can tell, especially holds true for good mental health and the quality of rest one receives.

Benefits of sleep on mental health.

It’s damn sad really, this thing called PTSD. As time goes on I’ve grown to loath it yet, I have failed over and over to put distance between myself and the most tragic, and painful scenes I have ever strapped on the gear and responded to.

Read: Nightmares Aftermath.

Often, I hear myself saying inside my head, “please, just leave me the f*** alone!” Similarly, I find myself verbalizing near identical statements when flashbacks invade my mind, my eyes and my heart. Especially when I’m driving.

A complete list of PTSD symptoms.

Well it’s true, cursing and swearing, yelling and retreating never seems to be the cure; it is nonetheless is my desperate effort at trying to get through some of the most unbearable and vivid memories. Oh, and I would give anything to have my physical symptoms disappear. I get tired of having headaches, random extremity pains and this god-awful tightness that is so bad, my back and shoulders are full of knots.

The Road To Mental Wellness is made possible in part by readers like you… thank you for your support.

With all this said, I will once again close my eyes and begin the long nightly ritual of tossing and turning, of waking and being frightened. Not only will I try tonight with the hope that tonight will be “the night,” I will continue tomorrow night and the night after and the night after that. For I have purpose, I have love and I am supported. Therefore, I shall find the strength too soldier on.

ABOUT THE BOOK

It’s finally ready.

I am excited to share that the i’Mpossible Project’s Lemonade Stand: Volume III (is available for order… today. Like, right now

I’ll be honest: This is pretty big. I, Josh, and Kathleen, have been curating this book for more than a year—fiddling with the right combination of stories, authors, and concepts. Kathleen and I have put our everything into this book. Absolutely everything. And you’re getting a little of us as well as the twenty incredible authors and stories when you get this book. It was exhausting and wonderful and a once-in-a-lifetime process to produce this book, and I am just now getting the confirmation I hoped for: It was all so incredibly worth it. Thank you for that.

Josh Rivedal and Kathleen Myre

If you are struggling please go here for help: Crisis Services Canada

Checkout our Mental Health Resources Page

Contact me on my Facebook page: The Road To Mental Wellness

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The Long Standing Battle

How I survive my long-standing battle with PTSD
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As the early morning darkness yielded to the light of the early day; I awoke with a feeling of terror and dread… Another PTSD nightmare. As if my broken slumber wasn’t enough, I have to contend with what is, so far, a hyper-sensitive day.

When I suffer my way through a night like these, the powers of PTSD overtake me and usually write off my entire day following. I am, sadly, at its mercy. I’m not going to lie, I am tired of mental illness and it’s long-standing battle.

What it’s like to have PTSD

photography of person walking on road — Photo by Leo Cardelli on Pexels.com

Fortunately, there is a silver lining to this chaos, always look for the silver lining; this solace comes from my repetitive onslaught that my mental health condition forces me through. I know, I known, how can having the mental tar beat out of you constantly have a positive side.

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Well, it took me a long time to discover what it was but when I did, the answer was quite simple. I am forty-four right now and therefore, this is far from my first dance with the mental illness devil; but guess what? Despite my battle that rages deep within, I’m still here. Yes, each and every time, I’ve come out the victor. So I guess one could say I’m a survivor.

While this may be true, there have been many times on my road to mental wellness, I have thought, “this is it, the moment the unrelenting symptoms finally win the war;” yet here I am. So far, I’m batting a thousand. My story, while not an easy one to live with, it has, nonetheless, provided me with gratitude for life. Furthermore, my love for family and respect for friends, inoculates me to a degree from doing any more harm to myself.

With that said, knowing that I come out on the other side alive and well, empowers me to plow through days like today. There WILL be better times ahead.

My friends, if you look back on your worst days, I bet it felt like you were destined to be remain in that state forever; that the mental illness monster had finally won the long-standing battle, yet it has not. You are here and you got through it! Being symptomatic doesn’t mean it’s the end, it means that you are a mental health warrior that will live to fight another day.

Lemonade Stand: Vol. III

Created by Josh Rivedal and Kathleen Myre, Lemonade Stand: Vol. III is a compilation of 20 stories from those who have served in the emergency services and the military. In it, the authors talk about their battles with PTSD, a debilitating and for many, a life-long mental illness. So, if you are from the military or emergency service’s, perhaps this book can help you combat the feelings of isolation and fear that frequently comes with post-traumatic stress disorder. Sometimes, just knowing that there are others out there, just like you, can provide you with the strength and courage to speak up and or get the help you need. The intention of this book is to help with that…. You’re not alone.

Also, Lemonade Stand: Vol III was written to help combat the stigma that often accompanies mental illness, best of all, it attempts to give all you served their countries and communities a voice… Which is amazing!