LEAVE ME THE F*** ALONE!"

Leave me the f*** alone!”

Just leave me the F*** alone

One thing that I have always found both sad and interesting about my own mental health journey; is the paradigm between the health benefits of sleep and the lack thereof. Just imagine how much better life would be if nightmares didn’t constantly intrude on good night sleep?

It certainly appears to me, that the key to better mental health is a solid regime of good night’s sleep over a long period of time. It is often said that consistency is key. This, as far as I can tell, especially holds true for good mental health and the quality of rest one receives.

Benefits of sleep on mental health.

It’s damn sad really, this thing called PTSD. As time goes on I’ve grown to loath it yet, I have failed over and over to put distance between myself and the most tragic, and painful scenes I have ever strapped on the gear and responded to.

Read: Nightmares Aftermath.

Often, I hear myself saying inside my head, “please, just leave me the f*** alone!” Similarly, I find myself verbalizing near identical statements when flashbacks invade my mind, my eyes and my heart. Especially when I’m driving.

A complete list of PTSD symptoms.

LEAVE ME THE F*** ALONE!"
LEAVE ME THE F*** ALONE!”

Well it’s true, cursing and swearing, yelling and retreating never seems to be the cure; it is nonetheless is my desperate effort at trying to get through some of the most unbearable and vivid memories. Oh, and I would give anything to have my physical symptoms disappear. I get tired of having headaches, random extremity pains and this god-awful tightness that is so bad, my back and shoulders are full of knots.

The Road To Mental Wellness is made possible in part by readers like you… thank you for your support.

With all this said, I will once again close my eyes and begin the long nightly ritual of tossing and turning, of waking and being frightened. Not only will I try tonight with the hope that tonight will be “the night,” I will continue tomorrow night and the night after and the night after that. For I have purpose, I have love and I am supported. Therefore, I shall find the strength too soldier on.

ABOUT THE BOOK

It’s finally ready.

I am excited to share that the i’Mpossible Project’s Lemonade Stand: Volume III (is available for order… today. Like, right now

I’ll be honest: This is pretty big. I, Josh, and Kathleen, have been curating this book for more than a year—fiddling with the right combination of stories, authors, and concepts. Kathleen and I have put our everything into this book. Absolutely everything. And you’re getting a little of us as well as the twenty incredible authors and stories when you get this book. It was exhausting and wonderful and a once-in-a-lifetime process to produce this book, and I am just now getting the confirmation I hoped for: It was all so incredibly worth it. Thank you for that. 

Josh Rivedal and Kathleen Myre

Order today

If you are struggling please go here for help: Crisis Services Canada

OR

Checkout our Mental Health Resources Page

Contact me on my Facebook page: The Road To Mental Wellness

A Critical Incident, yours?
While faced with memories of a critical incident or more, should we …
a difference a day makes.
I'm always amazed by what a difference a day makes. In the …
A Moment of Disassociation
a moment of disassociation.
A Side Effect
A few months ago I met with a chap who opened up …
old equestrian sculpture with men under sky at bright sundown

The Long Standing Battle

How I survive my long-standing battle with PTSD

As the early morning darkness yielded to the light of the early day; I awoke with a feeling of terror and dread… Another PTSD nightmare. As if my broken slumber wasn’t enough, I have to contend with what is, so far, a hyper-sensitive day.

When I suffer my way through a night like these, the powers of PTSD overtake me and usually write off my entire day following. I am, sadly, at its mercy. I’m not going to lie, I am tired of mental illness and it’s long-standing battle.

What it’s like to have PTSD

photography of person walking on road
Photo by Leo Cardelli on Pexels.com

Fortunately, there is a silver lining to this chaos, always look for the silver lining; this solace comes from my repetitive onslaught that my mental health condition forces me through. I know, I known, how can having the mental tar beat out of you constantly have a positive side.

The Road To Mental Wellness is made possible in part by readers like you… thank you for your support.

Well, it took me a long time to discover what it was but when I did, the answer was quite simple. I am forty-four right now and therefore, this is far from my first dance with the mental illness devil; but guess what? Despite my battle that rages deep within, I’m still here. Yes, each and every time, I’ve come out the victor. So I guess one could say I’m a survivor.

While this may be true, there have been many times on my road to mental wellness, I have thought, “this is it, the moment the unrelenting symptoms finally win the war;” yet here I am. So far, I’m batting a thousand. My story, while not an easy one to live with, it has, nonetheless, provided me with gratitude for life. Furthermore, my love for family and respect for friends, inoculates me to a degree from doing any more harm to myself.

With that said, knowing that I come out on the other side alive and well, empowers me to plow through days like today. There WILL be better times ahead.

My friends, if you look back on your worst days, I bet it felt like you were destined to be remain in that state forever; that the mental illness monster had finally won the long-standing battle, yet it has not. You are here and you got through it! Being symptomatic doesn’t mean it’s the end, it means that you are a mental health warrior that will live to fight another day.

Lemonade Stand: Vol. III 

Created by Josh Rivedal and Kathleen Myre, Lemonade Stand: Vol. III is a compilation of 20 stories from those who have served in the emergency services and the military.  In it, the authors talk about their battles with PTSD, a debilitating and for many, a life-long mental illness.  So, if you are from the military or emergency service’s, perhaps this book can help you combat the feelings of isolation and fear that frequently comes with post-traumatic stress disorder. Sometimes, just knowing that there are others out there, just like you, can provide you with the strength and courage to speak up and or get the help you need. The intention of this book is to help with that…. You’re not alone.

Also, Lemonade Stand: Vol III was written to help combat the stigma that often accompanies mental illness, best of all, it attempts to give all you served their countries and communities a voice… Which is amazing!

Lemonade stand
Order today

If you are struggling please go here for help: Crisis Services Canada

OR

Checkout our Mental Health Resources Page

Contact me on my Facebook page: The Road To Mental Wellness

What’s wrong with that guy?
It's enviable when you see someone angry, you automatically think, "What's wrong …
In those moments
It's in those moments of mental pain that we must remember that …
If I am honest
If I am honest, my old identity was killing me. But does …
Putting out the main fire
If you spend all your time focused on the small fires that …
Nightmare's aftermath

Nightmare’s aftermath

PTSD nightmares just cause everything to be worse I call it Nightmare’s aftermath

One of the trademark symptoms of PTSD is the nightmares; a patchwork of post-traumatic memories that lurk in the shadows during the day and wreak havoc throughout the night. Maybe what lurks in the shadows during the day are the flashbacks?

In my view, these nightmares can be the cornerstone of PTSD’s power. I believe this because when I wake up in the morning with a deep sense of dread, it’s the nightmare’s aftermath that can derail the entire day.

With that said, this aftermath, may not be on your radar as a reason for your heightened symptoms during the day; but they very well could be the cause; a thought worth exploring I would say.

Think you may have PTSD? Go here: Symptoms of PTSD.

If the nightmares in themselves weren’t enough, the lack of sleep from them is intolerable at times. These two factors are, for me, at least, a recipe for a very triggered day.

Like what you are reading? Try The Mental Health Work Injury

Every symptom is heightened; the startle response, the irritability, the flashback can be more pervasive and my mind thick with a mental fog. So thick in fact, that my thoughts strain to make their way through the merk.

The double-edged sword in all of this? The nightmare’s aftermath dominates the day. Not only because of the nightmares themselves but because of the overall lack of sleep.

So, essentially, the nightmares act as a terrifying ignition point and the lack of sleep is its steady state fire it produces. As many of you may already know, sleep is fundamental for good health and our mental health is no exception. In fact, a good night’s sleep is one of the most beneficial things you can do for your well-being; right up there with a good diet and exercise.

What can be done to quell the nightmares and get a good night’s sleep?

Fortunately, there are many things that can be done. For instance, getting a referral to a psychiatrist. I recommend them over a general practitioner simply because psychiatric disorders are their specialty. They can find the right meds to help you sleep and deal with the PTSD symptoms, like the nightmares.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com – Nightmare’s aftermath.

In addition, see a psychologist that has training in PTSD and its treatment approaches. They can train you in mindfulness and often have training in EMDER therapy; (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing). A therapeutic approach that has been found to work well with people with PTSD.

And finally, the big three, diet, exercise and connection. They will take you a long way to feeling like you again. I know, the last thing you want to do is put yourself out there but let me tell ya, it’s good for you. Let’s not let the PTSD run the show.

Of course, nothing is guaranteed to be a cure all but if we can get the nightmares under control, we will sleep better and our PTSD symptoms will be more manageable. The elation I feel when all of these elements come together is amazing. This is why I continue to fight every day. Life is better when you set out to defeat the nightmare’s aftermath.

Thanks for reading Nightmare’s aftermath Pre-order Lemonade Stand Vol. III today

Lemonade Stand Vol. III is a collection of 20 authors who have PTSD because of their military and or emergency services background. They bravely tell their stories in hopes that will help end stigma within the services and within mental health in general. Its other objective is to give people who are afraid to speak a voice.

When I read the stories from the other authors, it was like I was reading the story of my own struggles. I quickly realized that this book will not only help those with PTSD but may very well provide their spouses and families with insight into their loved one’s mental illness.

Lemonade Stand Vol. III
Pre order today

If you are struggling please go here for help: Crisis Services Canada

Want help fund my book? donate: GOFundMe – The Road To Mental Wellness – The book

Contact me on my Facebook page: facebook.com/TRTMW