End of another chapter

end of another chapter

Early last week, I had an over the phone appointment with my psychiatrist. It was brief and bittersweet. Little did I know, at the start of the conversation, that this appointment would be my last. She explained to me that she had done all she could. Finally, I’ve come to the end of another chapter.

The long road we travelled together, started in 2018, barely a month after I went off work. I consider myself lucky; we meshed right from the start. However, it would turn out that my relationship with the SSRIs she prescribed, would do anything but get along with me.

What makes a good therapist

Moreover, I would put myself through a pharmaceutically induced hell. As fate would have it, nearly every treatment option failed. Despite this, I soldiered on Pill after pill, I clung to the hope that this time, this would be the one; the one that eased my depression, minimize the toucher that comes with PTSD and ultimately saving my life.

this little tiny pill would become a double-edged sword.

Alas, this was not to be and no matter the level of hope, it was soon dashed by the results; or should I say the lack thereof. Fortunately, it wouldn’t take long for my psychiatrist to figure out what my Achilles heel

So then, what was it that made this aspect of my healing journey such a difficult one? Well, Ironically, it was a medication. I have epilepsy and have been on an anticonvulsant since I was thirteen.

Read Medication, at an Impasse

With it, came an opportunity to plan out and live a normal life because it, lucky for me, completely controlled my seizures. Even to this very day, I am grateful for the life it gave me.

However, this little tiny pill would become a double-edged sword for me. While I got through my day to day relatively unscathed because of it, my slow and slippery slide into the realm of mental illness would be complicated by it.

End of another chapter.

I have been fortunate to have lived the life i have.

As fate would have it, the anticonvulsant I am on would prevent almost all attempts to help me moderate the symptoms of my mental health conditions; for the most part at least. How ironic, a medication that helps me to live was now hindering my healing.

On the positive side, my psychiatrist went the distance with me. She could have handed my care back over to my GP much sooner but wanted to find a solution. Although finding the med that worked for me was largely trial and error; I would have to say that many months of sedation and other side effects were worth it in the end. My psychiatrist was awesome and did her utmost to help; even advocating for me in other ways; often contacting WCB on my behalf. Although this is essentially the end of another chapter, I can move on knowing that we both put up a good fight.

So please, Don’t give up on yourself.

Despite the battle, we did, however, find some meds that somewhat help. Sure, I could be disappointed but I choose to be grateful. While they may not be wonder drugs, they do help quell the suicidal ideation. Personally, I’d call that a win. My friends, going the distance does indeed pay off.

So then, what’s the moral of this chapter in my life? Well, firstly, I now know that if you persist and advocate for yourself, you will eventually get the help you need. Furthermore, I have come to learn that there are some committed, compassionate mental health professionals out there who only want to help and make a difference.

So please, Don’t give up on yourself, the system our the professionals, for they may help you get to the end of another chapter.

Want to help make my book a reality? Donate here: GoFundMe

Contact: The Road To Mental Wellness

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The new way to therapy

the new way to therapy

Our lives have changed so much in such a short period of time; forcing us to be creative in almost every facet of lives. However, some of these alterations I just can’t warm up to; the new way to therapy is one of them.

The benefits of online therapy.

With that said, if I didn’t have access to my psychologist; I’m fairly certain that my PTSD would rule over me like a fifteenth-century king. I would have little chance of surviving this chaotic time.

the new way to therapy still has real value.

In fact, I can say with a great deal of certainty that I would not get through. But, thankfully I am coping. Hey, it may not be ideal, but the new way to therapy, at least it’s something. So, I chose to be grateful For anything that will help see me through; I will be taking stalk of all things that matter and indeed; those things that ease the burden.

On the other side of the coin, looking at someone on a computer screen just doesn’t feel authentic; thus, I don’t feel like I am not getting the most out of the sessions.

Despite this fact, I remind myself that we don’t always have control over our lives; as much as I wish this wasn’t the case, it is, so I do what I must.

In my life’s journey, I have learned that I must do whatever it takes to make things better.”

As we all should, this is not the time to out and out reject the help we get or have access to; its a time to grin and bear it; do the best we can and pick up the pieces when this worldwide health emergency ends, and it will end.

The new way to therapy.

I am not at all surprised to hear that others are finding certain things less helpful for them now than before; almost daily we hear of another tragic aspect to COVID -19 and, well, quite frankly, personally it’s getting more and more difficult to combat my depression. I assume you are feeling it too.


How then, do we ever expect to get out of this and ever expect to recover? I think the answer is, we may not make a full recovery. By that, I mean the world we once knew will be a world we leave behind. In the interim, we have to use whatever is at our disposal to help us navigate through the unimaginable. Sometimes, getting through this will be a moment by moment thing. However, we will get through it.

Just don’t give up; a window can become a door; a simple coffee can bring a sense of normality and a video connection with a mental health professional can pull you into the light. In other words, the new way to therapy still has real value.

COVID-19 and your mentaL health

In crisis? Call 1.833.456.4566 | Text 45645 (Crisis Services Canada) Crisis Services Canada

Want to help make my book a reality? Donate here: GoFundMe

Contact: The Road To Mental Wellness

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Walking my way to mental wellness.

Walking My Way To Mental Wellness.

If I keep trying, I will work walk my way toward mental wellness


While travelling down the highway of life, my mental health condition took the wheel and lead me down a dark and lonely road. This unseen entity has led me down some pretty isolating and paths, but somehow I always managed to fight for control over my journey and steer myself toward normality. Now, I find myself walking my way to mental wellness.

Running through some of my battles I waged with mental illness, I can see that I always seem to end up the victor. Sure, Some battles were longer than others whist some sent me home wounded. The last battle I was mentally injured enough that I had to take time off work… But, I always bounced back. 
I recovered because I decided to take
 I exercised, ate well and sought out more than one mental health professional. I wanted to get to the bottom of what was causing me so much pain.
Because I am a fighter, I always ended up managing my illness sufficiently enough to return to work and thus to the living once more. But as we all know, when you are at war you’re bound to take a beating and some beatings are worse than others.


This last round not only took me down the road to mental anguish, but it also flattened the tires, pulled the spark plug and threw away the keys. What happens when you are stranded beside a dark dinghy road? You wallow for a while and then resign yourself to the fact that walking for help is your only option.

Deflated by the latest and most damaging incursion, I have been slowly walking my way to the road to mental wellness and although I am exhausted from the inclement weather Produced by Anxiety, depression and PTSD, I will keep going, even if I have to crawl my way back to the top the mentally healthy mountain.

I want you to know that, although a tough road to venture down, it is, nonetheless one you can handle. Always keep in mind who and what it is you are fighting for and you will win more days than you lose.

Click here for tips on how you can improve your mental health – Psychology Today


If you are suffering from PTSD, please reach out. I thank you for your service and you are still worthy and mean something. I believe in you!

If you are struggling please go here: Crisis Services Canada


Want help fund my book? donate: GOFundMe – The Road To Mental Wellness – The book

You may also enjoy: But a Mere Crawl: Slowly making my way towards mental wellness.

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