When ambition meets PTSD

When ambition meets PTSD

When ambition meets PTSD, we are forced to customize our lives.

When deciding to write this post, I thought about my internal conflict that rage inside; a battle between my hopes and dreams and how impactful PTSD is on my desire to see them through. You see, when ambition meets PTSD, it creates an entirely new set of mentally mind-blowing angst to fight with.

If I were asked to summon this up in one word, what the cornerstone of this entire battle is, it would be uncertainty. I literally have no idea what my future looks like going forward. However, despite this, I am not deterred from trying to figure it out.

Finding meaning when mentally ill.

Ok, so I may have days when thinking about the future is a huge deterrent and I may greet a day or two when the battle to find meaning and purpose is too overwhelming. Even so, when met with this internal confrontation, I simply crawl back into bed and hit the rest button; a reboot that, on average takes around twenty-four hours; I’m an old, worn model maybe that why it takes so long.

While I may “shutdown” from time to time, I don’t let this deter me either. So what, if I need a day, I take a day; heck, I’ve even taken two, I just never let the dark own my entire week, month or even year. I do after all, have ambition; albeit, under two tons of mental heavy metal.

The Road To Mental Wellness is made possible in part by readers like you… thank you for your support.

I know that you know the struggle and I also know that you never planned for your life to go sideways like an eighteen wheeler on black ice but it has; so, now what? The question now becomes, what do you have to do to get past it?

Want more? Try When PTSD catches up.

Often times, this question can a tough one to answer. However, I try my best to simplify it. Fundamentally, we can do one of two things. We can, one, do nothing, not an option for an ambitious fella like me. Or, we can; two, fight like hell to regain a life that, admittedly, will never be the one you once knew but nonetheless can still be something great.

When ambition meets PTSD
Photo by Vlad Chețan on Pexels.com

It’s for this reason; that life can be something great that both you and I should endeavour to fight for that “something great”. For at the end of the day, when ambition meets PTSD or any other mental health condition for that matter, we still have a choice where to put the energy we have, right? What’s key here, is making sure we customize our journey, so we can set ourselves so we may live again.

Checkout the book I helped to write:

Lemonade Stand: Vol. III 

Created by Josh Rivedal and Kathleen Myre, Lemonade Stand: Vol. III is a compilation of 20 stories from those who have served in the emergency services and the military.  In it, the authors talk about their battles with PTSD, a debilitating and for many, a life-long mental illness.  So, if you are from the military or emergency service’s, perhaps this book can help you combat the feelings of isolation and fear that frequently comes with post-traumatic stress disorder. Sometimes, just knowing that there are others out there, just like you, can provide you with the strength and courage to speak up and or get the help you need. The intention of this book is to help with that…. You’re not alone.

Also, Lemonade Stand: Vol III was written to help combat the stigma that often accompanies mental illness, best of all, it attempts to give all you served their countries and communities a voice… Which is amazing!

Lemonade stand
Order today

If you are struggling please go here for help: Crisis Services Canada

OR

Checkout our Mental Health Resources Page

Contact me on my Facebook page: The Road To Mental Wellness

Woke up exhausted.
I rarely sleep well, I can thank PTSD for that, but even …
Walking towards the sirens
The sound of sirens, shatter the beauty all around me but today, …
Leave me the f*** alone!”
Damn PTSD robs me of my sleep and thus torpedoes my mental …
More Important Than Ever
Finding my purpose has become more important than ever if I am …
shocked female worker in modern workplace

But you’re too young

How Many times have I heard, “But You’re too young?”

Looking back on my mental health journey, I can do so with the satisfaction of knowing that I’ve tried my best. Working to tackle my mental illnesses has not been easy. Yet despite this, there are those who believe that I will make a full recovery. Not only will I beat this, they, see myself back at work. Perhaps the most famous tagline I hear is “but you’re too young”. Meaning I have many more years to be productive citizen.

It’s certainly true that in my past, I was quite proud of the fact that I was a “worker”. Indeed, I could handle tons of busy on my plate. I loved keeping myself busy and if I had my way today, I would still be running constantly; aw, to have the energy to go and go and go.

How to customize your life when mentally ill.

But if I were being realistic, my battle with mental illness has lasted well over a decade; in that time, I have literally gone to war, doing whatever it takes to kick mental illness’s asses.

This battle, is of course far from over; however, I am starting to lose faith that I will ever return to the person I once was. Perhaps the most important question here is; who was I as a person when I had bountiful amounts of energy? Was it a natural inclination towards wanting to be busy, or was I trying to run a burden that was much stronger and faster than I?

Read. What’s in your mental wellness toolkit?

Truthfully, I have the luxury of looking back and therefore I feel like, well I wasn’t formally diagnosed for much of my battle, I was indeed running from myself. It’s interesting because I was oblivious to it for so many years.

Although one cannot change the past, it is still influential in the way we conduct ourselves now and into our future life choices. In my case, my propensity to be going full tilt has most likely lowered my tolerances for, not only the world around me but my ability to navigate through it with sufficient energy to be “successful” in a traditional sense. Thus, my choices I made in my younger years, have impacted the course of my future.

So, when people say; “but you’re too young,” I gently remind them that being disabled either mentally or physical knows no age limit. Trust me, I’ve tried to just “get over it” but it turns out that, factually, PTSD doesn’t work that way.

The Road To Mental Wellness is made possible in part by readers like you… thank you for your support.

While it was yet to be determined whether I shall be permanently disabled or somehow negotiate a truce with my mental health conditions; I am actively seeking ways that allows me to once again take on the world with strength and vigor. I must nonetheless, prepare for the very real possibility that I will have to customize how I move forward.

Want to hear others talk about their wellness journey? Go to The Depression Files.

If I were a betting man, I would bet that many of you are staring at the same crossroads in your lives. My advice? The life you were accustomed to is disappearing in the mirror of time, you can in fact, be productive and find meaning in your life. Sure, it may not be at full throttle but from my point of view, fulfilling passion is very obtainable. Just don’t let them push you back to where you know you can’t go; don’t let that saying but you’re too young set you up for failure by pushing you back into a world that you know you can’t handle.

Remember, you and you alone have a choice where you put your energy. Moreover, you are the only one who knows how much energy you have to give, if you know moving forward looks different from the conventional norm, advocate for yourself, you know yourself better than anyone. You’re ready for this change in life and be sure that you fight for it.

Checkout the book I helped to write:

Lemonade Stand: Vol. III 

Created by Josh Rivedal and Kathleen Myre, Lemonade Stand: Vol. III is a compilation of 20 stories from those who have served in the emergency services and the military.  In it, the authors talk about their battles with PTSD, a debilitating and for many, a life-long mental illness.  So, if you are from the military or emergency service’s, perhaps this book can help you combat the feelings of isolation and fear that frequently comes with post-traumatic stress disorder. Sometimes, just knowing that there are others out there, just like you, can provide you with the strength and courage to speak up and or get the help you need. The intention of this book is to help with that…. You’re not alone.

Also, Lemonade Stand: Vol III was written to help combat the stigma that often accompanies mental illness, best of all, it attempts to give all you served their countries and communities a voice… Which is amazing!

Lemonade stand
Order today

If you are struggling please go here for help: Crisis Services Canada

OR

Checkout our Mental Health Resources Page

Contact me on my Facebook page: The Road To Mental Wellness

Woke up exhausted.
I rarely sleep well, I can thank PTSD for that, but even …
Walking towards the sirens
The sound of sirens, shatter the beauty all around me but today, …
Leave me the f*** alone!”
Damn PTSD robs me of my sleep and thus torpedoes my mental …
More Important Than Ever
Finding my purpose has become more important than ever if I am …
Where's my glasses

Where’s My glasses

Where’s my glasses? Where is my mind?

Life’s all about those little moments, isn’t it? Well, yes of course it is. Sadly though, it’s also about those panicle moments that alter our life’s course forever. Some of these moments can be both good and bad, both, have a huge impact on the way we conduct ourselves moving forward.

Take PTSD for an example, is a debilitating mental health condition that may require years of recovery, if recovery is possible at all. For me, there’s no denying that my traumatic experiences have formed my current predicament. So much so in fact, that I have no idea what the future has in store for me.

With that said, I can’t focus too far down the road to mental wellness; rather, I must learn to navigate my way through the world again one mindful moment at a time. Personally, I suck at this right now, my tolerance for the wider world just isn’t there. There’s no denying the struggle is because I am disabled by my post-traumatic symptoms. I disassociate a lot and for the best part of my days, I don’t feel like I’m me, rather, I am a passive observer of my own life? This, along with the hyper startle response, I find almost impossible to overcome; but despite this, I fight on.

Full list of PTSD symptoms.

The symptoms I mention above are some of the most noticeable. I mean, jumping out of your skin over half a day is really, really noticeable. However, there are stealthier symptoms of PTSD.

Want to hear the stories of those on a similar journey? Listen to Men Are Nuts podcast.

A great example of this is how trauma impacts your memory; I have just recently noticed a correlation between the time my symptoms appeared and the loss of ability to find things. My family can tell you, I’m constantly saying, “Where are my glasses?”

This was never a thing for me, at least not to the degree it is today. Its as though once I put things down, my mind no longer cares about their existence; thereby leaving me with no recollection whatsoever of where I had put things. When I say no recollection, I mean, none!

Poor memory and PTSD.

How PTSD impacts your memory — Where’s my glasses.
The Road To Mental Wellness is made possible in part by readers like you… thank you for your support.

This is naturally turns me into a nomad, wander the house looking for, mostly my spectacles but it can also be my keys, wallet and now, my face mask.

So, if you find yourself asking, “Where’s my glasses,” and you have PTSD, it could very well be the neurological loveless of memory impairment. Don’t have glasses? I wonder where you put your keys last night before you went to bed?

Checkout the book I helped to write:

Lemonade Stand: Vol. III 

Created by Josh Rivedal and Kathleen Myre, Lemonade Stand: Vol. III is a compilation of 20 stories from those who have served in the emergency services and the military.  In it, the authors talk about their battles with PTSD, a debilitating and for many, a life-long mental illness.  So, if you are from the military or emergency service’s, perhaps this book can help you combat the feelings of isolation and fear that frequently comes with post-traumatic stress disorder. Sometimes, just knowing that there are others out there, just like you, can provide you with the strength and courage to speak up and or get the help you need. The intention of this book is to help with that…. You’re not alone.

Also, Lemonade Stand: Vol III was written to help combat the stigma that often accompanies mental illness, best of all, it attempts to give all you served their countries and communities a voice… Which is amazing!

Lemonade stand
Pre order today

If you are struggling please go here for help: Crisis Services Canada

OR

Checkout our Mental Health Resources Page.

Contact me on my Facebook page: The Road To Mental Wellness