I need to keep trying

I Need To Keep Trying

So here I am, finding myself starting yet another medication. Although this is but one of many I have willingly subjected myself to, I need to keep trying. I am hopeful that the chemical compound contained within the latest capsule will bring me some relief.

At this juncture, I have lost count of how many pharmaceuticals I have tried; all I know is that they have all proven to be ineffective. With each failed attempt comes a feeling of disappointment, but despite that, I must carry on.

If at first, you don’t succeed, try, try again.

Now, on this latest round, one I just started two days ago; I can say that my chemistry handles the initial stages of a new med pretty well the same. These new meds, sedate me and immerse my mind in a thick blanket of brain fog.

Medications used to treat mental illness.

Normally, I find the initial introduction quite debilitating and difficult to deal with; because I feel useless and like and even bigger burden to my loved ones. However, I remind myself that it is meant to quell the depression and PTSD so that I may return amongst the living.

I Need To Keep Trying

You may be asking yourself why I put myself through one failed attempt after another? Well, I remember what it was like to be functional enough to enjoy life on a more consistent scale. Since losing the long battle with the post-traumatic symptoms, I have not been able to do so.

Also, I have a bit of built-in stubborn streak that I have had with me all my life so as long as I’m alive I plan to win the war. When you think about it, no matter how bad things get, as long as you are alive, you have the opportunity to get better.

Want to hear more stories from people like you? Go to A New Dawn Podcast

So, with that said, I shall overcome this medication hurtle and hope for the best. You know what they say; If at first, you don’t succeed, try, try again.

Please, if you feel like giving up, don’t. I do understand the feeling of; “what’s the point” but the truth is, there’s always a reason to keep fighting. Do what it takes to beat your mental illness. in the moment and one pill at a time.

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Medications – At An Impasse

Medications

After a long experiment with different medications, I have to close this chapter and go with what I am left with.

For those who visit The Road To Mental Wellness regularly, you may have come across a post or two that talked about the my unique challenges surrounding medications. For those of you that haven’t I’ll give you a quick run down.

Since November of last year, I have been seeing a wonderful psychiatrist who has been working diligently to find a pharmaceutical treatment that will quiet my symptoms of PTSD, depression and anxiety. I am grateful that there is someone advocating for me with such a desire to want to help.

What makes my challenge a unique one is a preexisting medical condition. I have a seizure disorder called epilepsy. To be more specific about the difficulties it brings, it’s not the disorder in itself, its the medication to prevent the seizures.

I will mentally make a list of all the grateful things that have come out of this experience.

This story is a good news, bad news type of story. The good news is actually great news for me. Since I have been treated with this med, a drug called Carbamazepine, it has helped me remain seizure free since 1994. a fact that I am still very grateful for. It has meant the difference between living a normal, meaningful life and caving out a world dictated by disease.

By now you must be wondering what epilepsy medication and mental illness treatments have to do with one another? Well, Carbamazepine washes most of the SSRI’s, serotonin reuptake inhibitors out of liver, drugs that are used to treat mental health conditions like Depression and PTSD. Antidepressants and the like are systematically washed out of the liver by this particular anti-convulsant. Sucks, right?

Depression and PTSD.

With that being said, not all hope was lost. I was happy to hear that despite the unique position I was in, there were a few options we could try. This news was a huge relief for me because I desperately needed something to dull the fear, sleepless nights and nightmares.

I accepted all the medications that were offered hoping against hope that with every new prescription came a potential that I could get my life back. But, to no avail, they either did nothing for me or made me so tired I couldn’t function.

Loosing really isn’t an option for me

Here we are, at an impasse. We have reached the end of the line pharmaceutically speaking. There’s no doubt that, although I’m not surprising, I was nonetheless was saddened by the news.

Never one to give up easily, I brushed aside the feelings of disappointment. I am determined to carry on. I know that there are many more options out there. I can improve my diet and exercise more for starters.

So, what does this mean for me? Well, first off, I will mentally make a list of all the grateful things that have come out of this experience. To give you an idea of what gratitude looks like for me, below is a list.

medications
Medications, not the only option
  1. I had been put on a medication they may not hampered drug treatment options but has allowed me to live my life and do many wonderful things.
  2. I have an excellent psychiatrist that has truly exhausted all options and has been a seller advocate for me.
  3. Despite the feelings of lonely and isolation, I have a wonderful support system the ranges from close friends and family to the all the mental health and other agencies that have supported me.
  4. I know for a fact that there are other options.

Loosing really isn’t an option for me. when I review my own reasons to be grateful, it helps me carry on. So, if you’re feeling the weight of despair and feel like you’re getting no where, write down all the great things that are in you life. You may be surprised to see just how far you’ve come, how strong you are and who cares when the chips are down.

You may also enjoy: Signs Of Strength When You’re Not Mentally Well

You may also find support from sicknotweak.comanewdawnaa.com

You may also enjoy: Apologies For What, Being ill?

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You may also enjoy: I am vulnerable: I’m good with that.

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