We must resist ourselves

we must resist ourselves

If we are to win the battle against mental illness, we must resist ourselves – John Arenburg.

Can I do this? Can I move on from this painful episode of my life? Or am I destined to be trapped in this ocean forever?

These questions constantly plague my mind; almost as frequently as my PTSD. While this may be true, I’d like to think that I’m doing okay, unfortunately, the consistency I need to defeat this beast simply isn’t there. Perhaps one of the roadblocks I am experiencing is my resistance to support.

Sure, I have goals and dreams, ambition and work ethic but essentially, like that of someone trapped at sea, I can only tread water so long until I tire and float backwards, to where I began.

my main weapon against my own tyranny is love.

I suppose that for someone living with a mental health condition, this particular battle comes standard. with all that said, it doesn’t make it any less exhausting. Yet, despite being tired, I have learned long ago that I am the only one that can save myself; for when I am drowning, it is up to me to reach out and find the help I need.

We must resist ourselves
we must resist ourselves

Of course, having a healthy dose of stubbornness goes a long way to ensure one’s survival. Like that of stubbornness, there are many more reasons that keep pushing me towards the shore. And while the length of my battle may defeat me at times, l shall stay the course and I shall survive, nay, I will do better than that, I will thrive.

The Depression Files Podcast Have a listen to others as they tell their mental health stories

How you ask? Well, quite literally, my main weapon against my own tyranny is love; love for thy self and love for all those who see me through

This my friends is a sure way to drown

While we may want to run and hide, lick our wounds in secret, we will not survive alone. In fact, isolation can lead to a worsened mental health condition; or for some, the outcome can be dire.

Human connection and it’s impact on us

Truthfully, or at least from my point of view, we should be doing the opposite; resisting the perceived need to withdraw and hug it out with those who are in our corners.

Don’t you feel like sometimes you have a bit of self-sabotage going on? I know I sure do. On one hand, we feel like we are navigating these rough seas all on our own and on the other; we are ignoring those in the rescue boats all around us and those who are tossing us, life preservers. This my friends is a sure way to drown; something we have all been working so hard to prevent.

At the end of the day, we must resist ourselves, that temptation to go it on our own. While you may not feel worthy, I know you are and you mean so much to those who love you. Please, stop resisting the help that in reality, has a much better chance of getting you down the road to mental wellness.

In crisis? Call 1.833.456.4566 | Text 45645 (Crisis Services Canada) Crisis Services Canada

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Contact us: The Road To Mental Wellness

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Find Time To Do What You Love.

Having decided that I was going to go for something for the first time in a very long time, which was making the decision to create The Road to Mental Wellness; I was proud of myself considering the amount of mental pain I was in at the time. But, I had to do something.

But perhaps even more than that, I finally set myself free. For years, I had denied this love inside me that I felt I had to suppress because of the social mandate that lays out what’s expected of us when we reach adulthood. I made up my mind that I would forgo social convention and do something that would not only make me whole but would serve as a therapeutic release.

Writing, I loved to write and it was evident when I was young. I spent a lot of time writing in my teens. Sadly, when I grew into adulthood, I had so-called more important things to do. Work till I dropped, feed my anxiety and depression and never stop running. Ah, adulting. So I shelved my passion somewhere in the back of my mind and pretended I was enjoying the ride. Sound familiar?

Unfortunately, it was too late by the time I realized that slugging alone in the template of life met all the conditions to allow mental illness to grow exponentially. It eventually became too much once PTSD was thrown on top of it, and before I knew it, I was face to face with a monster I had ignored for far too long; a monster |I had created.

Now here I am, off work since September of last year, getting the help I need and walking towards the road to mental wellness. Part of the healing journey for me is to write, finally. What a tremendous help it has been to pull my passion off the shelf, dust it off and find that I love it just as much now as I did back then.

When you deny what you were meant to do, it feeds the flames of anxiety and makes you feel like you have less control over your life. This can head one down the road of depression. In a lot of cases, we may not be able to make a living doing what we love but if we think outside the box, we can at least find time to incorporate it into our daily lives.

With all the challenges I face right now, writing has at least made it easier for me to push my way through. I have a place to put my energy. It’s very much a coping tool because its something I love, I am free to create which is what I have always wanted to do.

Find time to do what you love. Even though it might not pay, the rewards are worth so much more. You may find that you can’t escape from the everyday riggers of your life but at least you’ll have a therapeutic release to help you navigate your way through. So, what dusty passion is hidden away in the back of your mind? Why not dust it off and fall in love with it, all over again.

if you are suffering from PTSD or another mental illness, please reach out. I thank you for your service and you are still worthy and mean something. I believe in you!

If you are struggling please go here: Crisis Services Canada

Want help fund my book? donate: GOFundMe – The Road To Mental Wellness – The book

You may also enjoy: 
 The Mental Carbon Monoxide And PTSD

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Check out my friend’s blog here: https://abbeyschronicles.com

You, Me, And PTSD, its hard on love

So, you recognized and have finally acknowledged that there’s something going on inside, something that requires you to look deep within yourself.
One of the principal drivers for your decision to seek out answers is the constant disruption your unacknowledged feelings and behaviours are causing in your life. Your reactivity and frequent withdrawal from your every day is a source of continuous pain for not only you but also your partner, your rock that bears the brunt of your outbursts and your fluctuating moods.
One day, you decide that enough is enough. Someday your love is going to walk. This prospect makes your desire to stop hurting the one you love far greater than your fear to confront and deal with your aliments.
Sound familiar? This not so pleasant scenario I know all too well and sadly so does my partner. I would give anything not to have been afflicted with the unbearable pain of PTSD but, I am faced with it almost daily. My partner deserves more from me, the better version I can be. She is one of my main motivators for embarking on my journey to wellness and her support and love mean so much to me. Her kind loving nature has been available to me each and every time I fall.

 Connecting with a loved one with PTSD

She’s worth the pain and strife that this journey produces and it’s because of her love that I want to be present for her,  alleviate her own burdens and reciprocate that love and kindness that makes me stronger. My dream is to one day enjoy our lives together and dammit I am going to achieve just that! I can never sufficiently articulate my gratitude for all that she has done. Thanks, beautiful! It’s difficult not to beat myself up when I know that my turmoil is spilling over into the one who props me up the most.

Help for spouses, friends and other supporters of someone who has PTSD

The nightmares often keep me awake at night and the exhaustion only magnifies the symptoms which impact our relationship. She’s a beautiful lady, a very loving soul. So as tough as it may be to confront my PTSD demon, it’s made so much easier knowing that our love is worth saving. When I  walk down the road of life I want to see her next to me, always. This is enough for me to keep fighting the good fight and utilize all the help and resources I can get my hands on, I want to ensure that my wellness journey and our lives together experience the longevity they both deserve.

Want help fund my book? donate GOFundMe – The Road To Mental Wellness – The book

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