How are you feeling in the moment

how are you feeling in the moment

How are you feeling in the moment? This may be the most important question to ask yourself especially this day and age. Are you angry, sad fearful? More specifically, at whom is your feeling directed?

I bet you think you know the answer; my spouse and maybe even my children. But I think one can make the argument that who you’re really upset with is you.

Ok, of course, I can’t say that for sure but I feel like we spend a lot of time obsessing over the notion that we must be happy; all the time. With that said, a number of questions must be asked; questions like, What is my definition of happiness? How do I achieve it? and is happiness really what I think it is?

In order to answer these questions, one must do so honestly. Moreover, one needs to accept certain things about what it is to be human.

are we in a steady sate of being?

Therefore it should come as no surprise that our entire existence is full of contradictions. A fact that can, in some instances, lead us down the road to mental illness. For instance, we all know that we experience a whole range of emotions so if this is true, why then do we, at the same time, want to prioritize just one emotion?

What’s is this much sought after feeling you ask? It’s happiness. We chase after it like its some sort of tangible item, a trophy we deserve just for trying; we see it as the ultimate prize and winning it will make our fairytale dream life come true. However, this simply isn’t the case.

Want to hear about other’s mental heath journies? Go to: A New Dawn

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t pursue what it is your passion about; what I am saying is that, along with the pursuit of our dreams, life’s ups and downs are proof that happiness is a real human emotion and therefore, subject to the ebb and flow that make us who we are. In other words, happiness isn’t something you can possess; rather, it is a fluctuating state of being, as are the rest of our emotions.

How are you feeling in the moment

the happiness – depression connection.

So then, if we accept that the idea that happiness is raw emotion and not something that we can permanently acquire, what are the psychological repercussions?

In my view, being happy all comes down to how we feel in the moment. However, our mythical conceptualization of happiness is, for, many, a road of pain, fear and anxiety.

How to live in the moment

This begs the question; is the pursuit of happiness really just a journey down the spiral staircase to mental illness? Because we as people are always in a state of emotional flux, one is bound to come head to head with their other emotions; anger, sadness, fear and frustration. Are they wrong? Should we beat ourselves up for them and feel shame? I say no.

What’s more, it’s how you are feeling in the moment that really matters.

Only you can truly answer these questions for yourself. With that said, if we buy into the idea that we should always be happy; won’t we be setting ourselves up for failure? Can our misunderstanding of emotions as a whole lead us to depression and anxiety, or, even worse, lead us to develop anxiety and depressive disorders?

Look at it this way, we can never always be angry, nor can we always be sad or anxious; happiness is the same. We would do well to work on staying focused on the here and now and not beating ourselves up for feeling the range of emotions that are innate in all of us. Furthermore, if you don’t achieve your goal of being permanently happy, remember two things; one, we were never designed to be and two, it’s ok that you can’t.

What’s more, it’s how you are feeling in the moment that really matters; accepting that we are creatures who come standard with a wide range of feelings, will, ironically, make one more satisfied with life. As you move through your life, you will experience an accumulation of wonderful memories, when you pasted together, you will see, just what it means to be happy.

In crisis? Call 1.833.456.4566 | Text 45645 (Crisis Services Canada) Crisis Services Canada

In Between The RainDrops
Trying to adapt to life once diagnosed with a mental illness, can …
When Things Went South
We are raised that if we work hard enough, we can be …
ignored the signs of mental illness.
A message for all my fire service colleagues and you too. IF …
When The Fog Rolls In
Often times, when the fog rolls in it grips you so tightly …

Mental Health Peace Talks

For me, if I don’t constantly negotiate with my anxiety it will initiate a hostile takeover. It will lay claim to not only my mental health but it will invest its control into wreaking havoc on me physically as well. Learn more about the physical symptoms of anxiety here: Physical Signs of Anxiety.

It’s a delicate relationship, the one I have in my head and at times, more often than I care for, I am fooled into thinking that my authentic self and the evils of angst are both honouring the agreement they have signed. That is to allow me to have the peace and happiness I deserve.
Of course, the odds are stacked against anxiety because there is never a desirable moment that I wish to compromise and allow it to have free rein over my life. This mental illness is well aware that I never intended it to have any say in how I conduct my life so it jacked up its negative talk, it’s fear factor elevated and wanted a seat at the neurological table.
But it only wishes to thrive by ensuring that I isolate myself and see to it that it tanks my self-esteem.  It has, sad to say, been very successful at claiming it’s dominance despite many psychological techniques applied and in defiance of the tools I employ to keep it at bay For more on coping tools for anxiety go here: Top 10 Simple Tools to Reduce Anxiety
There are a few things I find helpful, therapy being one of those but as we both know therapists aren’t like support call centres, they’re not on call 24 hours a day to provide assistance. But what I found the most helpful when therapy is not available, is to simply give anxiety permission to have the floor and I take the time to work through it, take a day when I need to. It’s important to realize that this can only be granted when is necessary.

What I’ve learned is that a zero-tolerance policy is a wrong approach to fighting mental illness simply because disorders of the mind do not honour any sort of peace agreement. It prefers to sabotage my happiness by its ever lingering presence in the background, becoming noisier and noisier as the annoyances of life slowly give it enough power to push my authenticity out of the driver seat.  Essentially,  I let it take the wheel and rest until it runs out of fuel and slips into the background once more.

Agreement

So it’s kind of like a summit,  Anxiety And the Mental Health Peace Talks seems a fitting title. Basically, what I am trying to say is it’s OK if you need a day here and there to allow for the symptoms of your illness to flare up, give yourself that permission. It will pass. Making peace with it and take time for self-care will go along way to maintain overall good mental health. Remember, total denial will only give it power. What’s not OK is avoiding what makes you anxious on a continuous basis.
I believe in you.

You may also enjoy: Mental Illness And Cleaning Out The Garage: What Do They Have In Common

If you are suffering from PTSD, please reach out. I thank you for your service and you are still worthy and mean something. I believe in you!

If you are struggling please go here: Crisis Services Canada


Want help fund my book? donate: GOFundMe – The Road To Mental Wellness – The book