Where's my glasses

Where’s My glasses

Where’s my glasses? Where is my mind?

Life’s all about those little moments, isn’t it? Well, yes of course it is. Sadly though, it’s also about those panicle moments that alter our life’s course forever. Some of these moments can be both good and bad, both, have a huge impact on the way we conduct ourselves moving forward.

Take PTSD for an example, is a debilitating mental health condition that may require years of recovery, if recovery is possible at all. For me, there’s no denying that my traumatic experiences have formed my current predicament. So much so in fact, that I have no idea what the future has in store for me.

With that said, I can’t focus too far down the road to mental wellness; rather, I must learn to navigate my way through the world again one mindful moment at a time. Personally, I suck at this right now, my tolerance for the wider world just isn’t there. There’s no denying the struggle is because I am disabled by my post-traumatic symptoms. I disassociate a lot and for the best part of my days, I don’t feel like I’m me, rather, I am a passive observer of my own life? This, along with the hyper startle response, I find almost impossible to overcome; but despite this, I fight on.

Full list of PTSD symptoms.

The symptoms I mention above are some of the most noticeable. I mean, jumping out of your skin over half a day is really, really noticeable. However, there are stealthier symptoms of PTSD.

Want to hear the stories of those on a similar journey? Listen to Men Are Nuts podcast.

A great example of this is how trauma impacts your memory; I have just recently noticed a correlation between the time my symptoms appeared and the loss of ability to find things. My family can tell you, I’m constantly saying, “Where are my glasses?”

This was never a thing for me, at least not to the degree it is today. Its as though once I put things down, my mind no longer cares about their existence; thereby leaving me with no recollection whatsoever of where I had put things. When I say no recollection, I mean, none!

Poor memory and PTSD.

How PTSD impacts your memory — Where’s my glasses.
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This is naturally turns me into a nomad, wander the house looking for, mostly my spectacles but it can also be my keys, wallet and now, my face mask.

So, if you find yourself asking, “Where’s my glasses,” and you have PTSD, it could very well be the neurological loveless of memory impairment. Don’t have glasses? I wonder where you put your keys last night before you went to bed?

Checkout the book I helped to write:

Lemonade Stand: Vol. III 

Created by Josh Rivedal and Kathleen Myre, Lemonade Stand: Vol. III is a compilation of 20 stories from those who have served in the emergency services and the military.  In it, the authors talk about their battles with PTSD, a debilitating and for many, a life-long mental illness.  So, if you are from the military or emergency service’s, perhaps this book can help you combat the feelings of isolation and fear that frequently comes with post-traumatic stress disorder. Sometimes, just knowing that there are others out there, just like you, can provide you with the strength and courage to speak up and or get the help you need. The intention of this book is to help with that…. You’re not alone.

Also, Lemonade Stand: Vol III was written to help combat the stigma that often accompanies mental illness, best of all, it attempts to give all you served their countries and communities a voice… Which is amazing!

Lemonade stand
Pre order today

If you are struggling please go here for help: Crisis Services Canada

OR

Checkout our Mental Health Resources Page.

Contact me on my Facebook page: The Road To Mental Wellness

a moment of disassociation.

A Moment of Disassociation

Yesterday, I had a moment of disassociation. I awoke to a pounding headache and a huge weight of dread made me unfocused and slow to move. Despite this feeling, I sat in front of my computer and did my best to write a blog post; but the screen remained pure white.

This dread, it powered me down into safe mode, protecting my brain from overproducing too much emotion. So, what lye at the core of this emergency shutdown? My kids, I haven’t seen them in weeks so sometimes, it’s gut-wrenchingly difficult. I had a micro panic when I thought about the potential length of time would go by before I saw them again. Could this have been the catalyst?

Be kind to yourself, ok.

Moreover, my track record for handling new pain and old alike has been, well, let’s just say if I was being graded, I would have a solid D. With that said, my old brain has to cope somehow and because I am far from mentally robust; a moment of disassociation was its only defence.

How to cope while in the middle of a pandemic

Hardly a superpower, I found myself looking at the computer screen but not. I was somewhere else, gone and lost in a sort of protective mental safe space; my surrounding environment closed in on me like walls in an ancient pyramid. I likened it to a small child hiding in the perceived safety of a closet.

Want to hear the stories of others battling mental illness? Go to A New Dawn.

a moment of disassociation

As to how much time went by, I can’t say, all I do know is something brought me back. Something, whatever it was, lifted the trance. From there, I started taking inventory of all the things around me; this was in an effort to fully restore me to reality.

Hey, you’ve made it this far.

Mindfulness was a lifesaver in this case, as it often is; I am grateful for the skills I have acquired that help me zero in on the present especially after such a moment of disassociation.

I think its perfectly natural to have your mental health condition buzzing at high alert given the times we’re in, so be kind to yourself, ok. We are in fact in uncharted waters with this outbreak, you will be triggered, depressed, anxious and yes, some may even have a moment of disassociation. What’s important is to use your coping skills and understand that mental illness can be all about riding the wave. It will wash over you and you will come out the other side of it to fight another day. Hey, you’ve made it this far.

Want to help make my book a reality? Donate here: GoFundMe

Contact: The Road To Mental Wellness

Like what you read? Check out Medications – At an Impase.