Missing out on life

Missing Out On Life.

I am willing to bet that many people with mental illness, have had their own battles with medications. Moreover, it’s very likely that many of you have played the game of trial and error; it can take a while to get the right combination before one starts to see the benefits. This process is necessary but perhaps it’s the biggest drawback is missing out on life.

Then, there are those like me, stuck in a unique situation of medication purgatory. It seems that I am truly at a medication impasse. This intersection I have reached on the road to mental wellness is just fine with me; to be honest, this pharmaceutical rollercoaster ride is getting to be way too much.

I had to do whatever I had to so as to have the best chance at beating mental illness and put myself on a path to healing.

Thankfully, there was one drug that showed some benefit, Sertraline. This med worked the best at keeping the suicidal thoughts at bay; which, in my estimation is a very big help. However, the only true effect I have is when its at max dose. 200mgs of heavy and sleepiness.

Pharmaceuticals, they always consider the risks vs benefits when considering treatment, a little tired over some symptoms is ok by me, especially at this point. But now, there are only two options left, continue to take part in therapy or do nothing.OF course, I will continue therapy but it feels, as time goes on, that I need to be near the functional end of this road to mental wellness.

Am I supposed to hang my head and give up? Absolutely not!

On the other hand, being at the end of the pharmaceutical leg of my journey isn’t all bad. Its almost been more debilitating than the battle With PTSD and coping with depression. I have spent half the journey missing out on life. Being so sedated I missed out on so much, mainly time with my partner and experiencing quality time with my kids and parents.

The best way I can describe this near-constant sedation is; think back to a time when you had surgery and how you felt afterwards. Remember that tired and groggy feeling? That’s very close to how I felt, constantly. Sadly, I still do and will until I’m completely rid of this last drug.

Like what you are reading? go New Hope, a New Medication

So then, do I regret putting myself through the harrowing effects of every non-addictive SSRI going? Well, the short answer is no. A journey isn’t a journey if you remain idle so, I had to do whatever I had to so as to have the best chance at beating mental illness and put myself on a path to healing.

What to hear more strories of peope battling their mental illness? go to The Depression Files

My advice to people is this: If the mental illness has taken you, hostage, the first thing you have to do is accept that the road back will not be a pleasant one. So, learn to accept being uncomfortable. More importantly, do use these feelings of being uncomfortable to retreat. Real healing happens when you not only see the barriers in your way, but you actively seek ways to smash them down.

Learn to fight through the discomfort

Missing out on life

So meds don’t work for me, am I supposed to hang my head and give up? Absolutely not! If for whatever reason, I lose the opportunity to live a normal life, I will go down swinging. I went to war against my mental illness and therefore cam armed for battle. Recently, I have gotten back in the gym and am making improvements to my diet. I know for a fact that optimal health does wonders for mental illness related conditions.

Please, keep fighting and finding ways to win your war, you deserve to live. You are the warrior that can make that a reality. Sometimes, even if it means we are sometimes missing out on life.

I want you to live: Go to Crisis Services Canada If you need help

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Contact: The Road To Mental Wellness

Fighting for my life

Fighting For My Life

Today, I write this blog post from the comfort of my couch. I am stricken with dizzy spells and exhaustion; an inconvenience that prevents me from standing. Sadly, this has become all too familiar. However, despite what you are thinking, this inflection is not an illness; rather, it is the direct result of fighting for my life.

More specifically, I am currently coming off a drug, Sertraline and slowly introducing another antidepressant. This change is yet another attempt of many to get me running down the road to mental wellness. The Irony here is that I am too sedated to get out of my own way.

I fight on because when I look up, I see all those I love and all those I hold near and dear.

I know that many may not agree with me when I say I am fighting for my life; that’s fine. However, there’s more than one way to look at the long battle to live. for example, fighting to get back on track after having your life come flying off the track due to, in my case mental illness; while others are going toe to toe with a serious physical ailment.

In crisis? Crisis Servces Canada Can Help.

One thing that physical and mental illnesses have in common is that both can sometimes have dire consequences, especially if left untreated. In fact, one of the main reasons I have survived is that I sought out a multitude of treatment options.

Like what your reading? try Face To Face With My Mental Illness.

Of course, I can’t speak for others, I can only speculate that their struggle is similar to my own. For me, I’ve been at war since I was a boy. And, If I had to be honest with myself, I’m tired.

Fighting for my Life.

Exhausted from what is essentially a lifetime in the trenches; a lifetime therapist after therapist and trying one medication after another. Now, at forty-four, I sometimes have doubts as to whether or not I will emerge the victor. It’s a thought that I’m sure many people struggle with.

When one has a mental illness, winning one battle, one moment at a time is a victory.

I am fighting for my life because this PTSD thing has latched on and uses me as its host to survive, the depression, it reaches from within to ensure there is no way I can shake either one. With a firm grip and a resolve to conquer my life, I fight on because when I look up, I see all those I love and all those I hold near and dear.

So, I will press on, continue to take on my internal conflict with all the strength I can muster. Because life isn’t all about me, it’s filled with people who love me. This is all I need to get up and fight on! Fight on my friends, fight on.

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Contact: The Road To Mental Wellness

Walking my way to mental wellness.

Walking My Way To Mental Wellness.

If I keep trying, I will work walk my way toward mental wellness

 
 

While travelling down the highway of life, my mental health condition took the wheel and lead me down a dark and lonely road. This unseen entity has led me down some pretty isolating and paths, but somehow I always managed to fight for control over my journey and steer myself toward normality. Now, I find myself walking my way to mental wellness.

 
Running through some of my battles I waged with mental illness, I can see that I always seem to end up the victor. Sure, Some battles were longer than others whist some sent me home wounded. The last battle I was mentally injured enough that I had to take time off work… But, I always bounced back. 
 
I recovered because I decided to take
 I exercised, ate well and sought out more than one mental health professional. I wanted to get to the bottom of what was causing me so much pain.
 
Because I am a fighter, I always ended up managing my illness sufficiently enough to return to work and thus to the living once more. But as we all know, when you are at war you’re bound to take a beating and some beatings are worse than others.

 

This last round not only took me down the road to mental anguish, but it also flattened the tires, pulled the spark plug and threw away the keys. What happens when you are stranded beside a dark dinghy road? You wallow for a while and then resign yourself to the fact that walking for help is your only option.

Deflated by the latest and most damaging incursion, I have been slowly walking my way to the road to mental wellness and although I am exhausted from the inclement weather Produced by Anxiety, depression and PTSD, I will keep going, even if I have to crawl my way back to the top the mentally healthy mountain.

I want you to know that, although a tough road to venture down, it is, nonetheless one you can handle. Always keep in mind who and what it is you are fighting for and you will win more days than you lose.

Click here for tips on how you can improve your mental health – Psychology Today

 



If you are suffering from PTSD, please reach out. I thank you for your service and you are still worthy and mean something. I believe in you!

If you are struggling please go here: Crisis Services Canada


 

Want help fund my book? donate: GOFundMe – The Road To Mental Wellness – The book

 
 
You may also enjoy: But a Mere Crawl: Slowly making my way towards mental wellness.

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