How are you feeling in the moment

how are you feeling in the moment

How are you feeling in the moment? This may be the most important question to ask yourself especially this day and age. Are you angry, sad fearful? More specifically, at whom is your feeling directed?

I bet you think you know the answer; my spouse and maybe even my children. But I think one can make the argument that who you’re really upset with is you.

Ok, of course, I can’t say that for sure but I feel like we spend a lot of time obsessing over the notion that we must be happy; all the time. With that said, a number of questions must be asked; questions like, What is my definition of happiness? How do I achieve it? and is happiness really what I think it is?

In order to answer these questions, one must do so honestly. Moreover, one needs to accept certain things about what it is to be human.

are we in a steady sate of being?

Therefore it should come as no surprise that our entire existence is full of contradictions. A fact that can, in some instances, lead us down the road to mental illness. For instance, we all know that we experience a whole range of emotions so if this is true, why then do we, at the same time, want to prioritize just one emotion?

What’s is this much sought after feeling you ask? It’s happiness. We chase after it like its some sort of tangible item, a trophy we deserve just for trying; we see it as the ultimate prize and winning it will make our fairytale dream life come true. However, this simply isn’t the case.

Want to hear about other’s mental heath journies? Go to: A New Dawn

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t pursue what it is your passion about; what I am saying is that, along with the pursuit of our dreams, life’s ups and downs are proof that happiness is a real human emotion and therefore, subject to the ebb and flow that make us who we are. In other words, happiness isn’t something you can possess; rather, it is a fluctuating state of being, as are the rest of our emotions.

How are you feeling in the moment

the happiness – depression connection.

So then, if we accept that the idea that happiness is raw emotion and not something that we can permanently acquire, what are the psychological repercussions?

In my view, being happy all comes down to how we feel in the moment. However, our mythical conceptualization of happiness is, for, many, a road of pain, fear and anxiety.

How to live in the moment

This begs the question; is the pursuit of happiness really just a journey down the spiral staircase to mental illness? Because we as people are always in a state of emotional flux, one is bound to come head to head with their other emotions; anger, sadness, fear and frustration. Are they wrong? Should we beat ourselves up for them and feel shame? I say no.

What’s more, it’s how you are feeling in the moment that really matters.

Only you can truly answer these questions for yourself. With that said, if we buy into the idea that we should always be happy; won’t we be setting ourselves up for failure? Can our misunderstanding of emotions as a whole lead us to depression and anxiety, or, even worse, lead us to develop anxiety and depressive disorders?

Look at it this way, we can never always be angry, nor can we always be sad or anxious; happiness is the same. We would do well to work on staying focused on the here and now and not beating ourselves up for feeling the range of emotions that are innate in all of us. Furthermore, if you don’t achieve your goal of being permanently happy, remember two things; one, we were never designed to be and two, it’s ok that you can’t.

What’s more, it’s how you are feeling in the moment that really matters; accepting that we are creatures who come standard with a wide range of feelings, will, ironically, make one more satisfied with life. As you move through your life, you will experience an accumulation of wonderful memories, when you pasted together, you will see, just what it means to be happy.

In crisis? Call 1.833.456.4566 | Text 45645 (Crisis Services Canada) Crisis Services Canada

Woke up exhausted.
I rarely sleep well, I can thank PTSD for that, but even …
Walking towards the sirens
The sound of sirens, shatter the beauty all around me but today, …
Leave me the f*** alone!”
Damn PTSD robs me of my sleep and thus torpedoes my mental …
More Important Than Ever
Finding my purpose has become more important than ever if I am …

What lies at the center

The other day, a friend kindly pointed out that my battle with PTSD is not a sprint but rather; a long and painful marathon. While I know this to be true, those words resonated with me. As a result, it got me thinking about what lies at the center of my mental illnesses.

Over the years, I have often wondered what lead me down this road; what factors caused my health to veer so far off course? More importantly, what would the answer do to help contribute to a better way forward? Or, could my history simply be irreverent?

I, as time went on, I grew into a man with low self-esteem, low self-worth and absolutely terrified to try new things.

The only way to know for sure is to step out of my comfort zone and explore my past and thus, what impact, if any, has had on my life. But where does one start? So many questions.

Thankfully, my background in counselling has provided me with some options as to where to start. After careful consideration, I decided to start with the concept known as the inner child; a theory that we all have, within our subconsciousness mind, a child we used to be. Moreover, this inner child comes to the fore when our experiences illicit similar challenges from our youth.

What lies at the centre.

For example, as a boy, some adults in my life made me feel as though I couldn’t do anything right. As a result, my “inner child comes to the surface today when I perceive that someone is questioning my abilities.

Looking back on such incidents when I was a kid, I would react in anger when an adult would say; “You can’t do that.” Now, as a grown man, when something similar happens I get, you guessed it, angry.

While the answer isn’t as straight forward as I would like, it does seem, at least in part, to have its origins in my childhood.

As one might imagine, the damage was burned into my brain over time; its side effect was a life long belief that I am stupid and worthless. What’s worse is its damage is so great, that I often mistake legitimate assistance as I would have when I was growing up; as someone implying that I can’t do it.

Not only did I grow into the mindset that I was stupid, I, as time went on, grew into a man with low self-esteem, low self-worth and absolutely terrified to try new things.

How to build your self-confidence and self-worth

So, here we are, back at the question; the question of what lies at the center of where I am today?. While the answer isn’t as straight forward as I would like, it does seem, at least in part, to have its origins in my childhood.

if we delve into the by-product of this childhood treatment, it’s not hard to imagine that it is potentially the fertilizer that helped to cultivate my major depressive disorder.

We can heal when we know what it was that damaged us.

And, even though I tried my best to pick myself up and dust myself off, the accumulation of pain became ingrained; each time I was made to feel this way, the open wound would widen and cut a little deeper. Multiply that by forty years, heck, twenty years even and you’ve got a recipe for depression.

Wirth all the above in mind, I feel that exploring thw inner child has some real validiy. It may help you to uncover the source of your mental pain. In my example, we saw that my outbursts of anger appear to have come from my treatment in childhood.

So, if you’re at a loss as to why you are feeling the way you do; maybe its worth exploring what lies at the center. We can heal when we know what it was that damaged us.

In crisis? Call 1.833.456.4566 | Text 45645 (Crisis Services Canada) Crisis Services Canada

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Contact: The Road To Mental Wellness

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The Mental Health Work Injury

As I rise this morning and prep my morning coffee, I began to hear sirens off in the distance, lots of them. They are fire trucks. After fifteen years in the fire service, they are unmistakable to these veterans’ ears.

At one time, hearing them responding to chaos would produce a flow of adrenaline and kick my passion for helping others into high gear; now, they are replaced with fear, angst and a numbing dread, all produced by PTSD. Often times it sends me into a mental health crisis and holds me captive for the remainder of the day. For coping strategies for PTSD go here:

The sounds of sirens cutting through the silence of the early morning air, evoke in me such a range of conflicting emotions. Not only does it produce feelings of body numbing, anxiety, racing thoughts and fear, it also, makes me very angry, sad and lost. Perhaps the hardest feeling of all is the feeling abandoned by those whom I believed to be my brothers and sisters of the service. The sound of sirens is an instant reminder of the sacrifices I made, time lost with family, and the mental work-related injury that I sustained while in the course of my duties.
Moreover, they are an instant, PTSD triggering reminder that I have essentially been left behind. So, I am angry on two fronts, this intense feeling of being forgotten, and I am pissed because I love the fire service, it’s in my blood and shall always be woven into the fabric of my being. Having this resides in my heart angers me because I knew that when those bay doors closed behind me for the last time, I knew that it was indeed the end. I am now a mere shadow of my former self and a distant memory by those I battled the beast with.

The mental health work injury called PTSD has destroyed millions and disrupted the lives of those who have been touched by its symptoms. Yet, like all forms of mental illness, it goes unrecognized as a legitimate work-related injury within the service. But I ask you. How is it different from any other injury? Its constant pain, its, in my case, injured me to the degree that I am not able to work, it’s managed by health care professionals; it also requires accommodation, symptom management and requires one to learn how to adapt their life to move on from dreams and passion they once were able to do with ease. Now replace mental illness with any physical injury; broken back, head injury etc. Now apply the requirements above to these physical injuries; symptom management, constant pain….. Again I ask you, How are they different from any other injury? THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE. Wondering if you

Might have Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD?) check here, Signs and symptoms of PTSD.

Want help fund my book? donate: GOFundMe – The Road To Mental Wellness – The book


“I feel like a discarded garden, left to wither and die”.

You may also enjoy: PTSD: The Impact Of Stigma On Firefighters

Please note: that if you think you may have PTSD, please contact your health care provider and talk to them. I highly recommend you request a referral to your mental health services.
There are also resources out there to help, organizations like Sick Not Weak, a non-profit dedicated to supporting persons with mental illness.

You may also enjoy: Spontaneous Mental Combustion

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