How are you feeling in the moment

how are you feeling in the moment

How are you feeling in the moment? This may be the most important question to ask yourself especially this day and age. Are you angry, sad fearful? More specifically, at whom is your feeling directed?

I bet you think you know the answer; my spouse and maybe even my children. But I think one can make the argument that who you’re really upset with is you.

Ok, of course, I can’t say that for sure but I feel like we spend a lot of time obsessing over the notion that we must be happy; all the time. With that said, a number of questions must be asked; questions like, What is my definition of happiness? How do I achieve it? and is happiness really what I think it is?

In order to answer these questions, one must do so honestly. Moreover, one needs to accept certain things about what it is to be human.

are we in a steady sate of being?

Therefore it should come as no surprise that our entire existence is full of contradictions. A fact that can, in some instances, lead us down the road to mental illness. For instance, we all know that we experience a whole range of emotions so if this is true, why then do we, at the same time, want to prioritize just one emotion?

What’s is this much sought after feeling you ask? It’s happiness. We chase after it like its some sort of tangible item, a trophy we deserve just for trying; we see it as the ultimate prize and winning it will make our fairytale dream life come true. However, this simply isn’t the case.

Want to hear about other’s mental heath journies? Go to: A New Dawn

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t pursue what it is your passion about; what I am saying is that, along with the pursuit of our dreams, life’s ups and downs are proof that happiness is a real human emotion and therefore, subject to the ebb and flow that make us who we are. In other words, happiness isn’t something you can possess; rather, it is a fluctuating state of being, as are the rest of our emotions.

How are you feeling in the moment

the happiness – depression connection.

So then, if we accept that the idea that happiness is raw emotion and not something that we can permanently acquire, what are the psychological repercussions?

In my view, being happy all comes down to how we feel in the moment. However, our mythical conceptualization of happiness is, for, many, a road of pain, fear and anxiety.

How to live in the moment

This begs the question; is the pursuit of happiness really just a journey down the spiral staircase to mental illness? Because we as people are always in a state of emotional flux, one is bound to come head to head with their other emotions; anger, sadness, fear and frustration. Are they wrong? Should we beat ourselves up for them and feel shame? I say no.

What’s more, it’s how you are feeling in the moment that really matters.

Only you can truly answer these questions for yourself. With that said, if we buy into the idea that we should always be happy; won’t we be setting ourselves up for failure? Can our misunderstanding of emotions as a whole lead us to depression and anxiety, or, even worse, lead us to develop anxiety and depressive disorders?

Look at it this way, we can never always be angry, nor can we always be sad or anxious; happiness is the same. We would do well to work on staying focused on the here and now and not beating ourselves up for feeling the range of emotions that are innate in all of us. Furthermore, if you don’t achieve your goal of being permanently happy, remember two things; one, we were never designed to be and two, it’s ok that you can’t.

What’s more, it’s how you are feeling in the moment that really matters; accepting that we are creatures who come standard with a wide range of feelings, will, ironically, make one more satisfied with life. As you move through your life, you will experience an accumulation of wonderful memories, when you pasted together, you will see, just what it means to be happy.

In crisis? Call 1.833.456.4566 | Text 45645 (Crisis Services Canada) Crisis Services Canada

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What's wrong with that guy?

What’s wrong with that guy?

What’s wrong with that guy?

You hear it often nowadays, “we are living in different times.” I hear this often from people when they are doing their best to avoid getting too close; thank you COVID-19. It’s one of the truer statements one makes in this era of deception and fake news.

Unfortunately, one of humans fundamental flaws, besides being easily led a stray, is complacency. Take my corner of the world for example, we have experienced a really low number of cases of the virus. It’s true that our governments have done a great job of keeping us safe but its ultimately up to the people to hold the line and do what needs to be done. If not, we risk a major health crisis here too.

Yet, I see more and more people blatantly and foolishly disregarding what needs to be done. This is especially true of the young. With an Uptake in case across Canada, We must do better. Please, if you’re not an infectious disease specialist, don’t make your own conclusions about how transmission happens.

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For example, because your area might have low numbers or even zero cases, doesn’t mean that we can lower our guards. Remember, COVID-19 came all the way from China and infected the world in a matter of months; Months! Also, just because you are young, doesn’t somehow exempt you from contracting or spreading it; so, WEAR A MASK!

But John, WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH MENTAL HEALTH?

Well, nothing really, except that when I am sitting in a busy café and more than half of the customs walking in without masks, I go into disaster mode. I saw an even higher percentage of kids not wearing a mask either.

Right or wrong, my blood boiled ever hotter the more and more bared faced people walking through the door. I tried to contain the PTSD range, I really did, but alas, my experience of watching people die slowly with phenomena overtook me. Finally, I jumped up out of my seat and yelled, “Where the Fu** are your masks?”

Listen to others on their own journey at A New Dawn

One young person admitted she didn’t even have one. Sadly, but not surprisingly, my displeasure was met with smiles and laughter. I didn’t care then and I don’t care now. I felt panicked and not safe. In fact, the more complacency sets in with folks, the more unsafe I feel; not only for myself, but for all those whose are immune systems are compromised. I bet instead of them considering the validity of my concerns, they probably thought; “What’s wrong with that guy?”

What's wrong with that guy?
Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com

Let’s see, What’s wrong with that guy? Humm, well, PTSD, a mental disorder that I earned with distinction that’s what. I want to spend the rest of my days painful and death-free. A tall order I know, but a panic driven concern that can send me in to a fit of anger. It really is bigger than me sometimes.

If my own mental history weren’t enough, the accumulation of recklessness on behalf of my fellow human beings can send me to a point of no return. I really do hate it but sometimes, it will rear its ugly head.

Learn about PTSD and anger.

So, if you ever see someone loosing it on someone, especially over something like mask wearing and or other legit safety concerns; don’t ask, “What’s wrong with that guy? Instead, ask yourself, what has he been through? And is what he is angry about valid?

Please, be safe and I beg you, please think of others…. Take care!

In those momenets

Checkout the book I helped to write:

Lemonade Stand: Vol. III 

Created by Josh Rivedal and Kathleen Myre, Lemonade Stand: Vol. III is a compilation of 20 stories from those who have served in the emergency services and the military.  In it, the authors talk about their battles with PTSD, a debilitating and for many, a life-long mental illness.  So, if you are from the military or emergency service’s, perhaps this book can help you combat the feelings of isolation and fear that frequently comes with post-traumatic stress disorder. Sometimes, just knowing that there are others out there, just like you, can provide you with the strength and courage to speak up and or get the help you need. The intention of this book is to help with that…. You’re not alone.

Also, Lemonade Stand: Vol III was written to help combat the stigma that often accompanies mental illness, best of all, it attempts to give all you served their countries and communities a voice… Which is amazing!

Order today

If you are struggling please go here for help: Crisis Services Canada

OR

Checkout our Mental Health Resources Page

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This could be the key to moving FORWARD
This could be the key to moving forward. Let your passion be …
I will never bend to it’s will
I will never bend to its will, to my mental illness. These …
You have the right to refuse
MENTAL HEALTH RESOURCES PAGE
Have I figured out the meaning of life?
Have I figured out the meaning of life? When battling major depression …

LEAVE ME THE F*** ALONE!"

What lies at the center

The other day, a friend kindly pointed out that my battle with PTSD is not a sprint but rather; a long and painful marathon. While I know this to be true, those words resonated with me. As a result, it got me thinking about what lies at the center of my mental illnesses.

Over the years, I have often wondered what lead me down this road; what factors caused my health to veer so far off course? More importantly, what would the answer do to help contribute to a better way forward? Or, could my history simply be irreverent?

I, as time went on, I grew into a man with low self-esteem, low self-worth and absolutely terrified to try new things.

The only way to know for sure is to step out of my comfort zone and explore my past and thus, what impact, if any, has had on my life. But where does one start? So many questions.

Thankfully, my background in counselling has provided me with some options as to where to start. After careful consideration, I decided to start with the concept known as the inner child; a theory that we all have, within our subconsciousness mind, a child we used to be. Moreover, this inner child comes to the fore when our experiences illicit similar challenges from our youth.

What lies at the centre.

For example, as a boy, some adults in my life made me feel as though I couldn’t do anything right. As a result, my “inner child comes to the surface today when I perceive that someone is questioning my abilities.

Looking back on such incidents when I was a kid, I would react in anger when an adult would say; “You can’t do that.” Now, as a grown man, when something similar happens I get, you guessed it, angry.

While the answer isn’t as straight forward as I would like, it does seem, at least in part, to have its origins in my childhood.

As one might imagine, the damage was burned into my brain over time; its side effect was a life long belief that I am stupid and worthless. What’s worse is its damage is so great, that I often mistake legitimate assistance as I would have when I was growing up; as someone implying that I can’t do it.

Not only did I grow into the mindset that I was stupid, I, as time went on, grew into a man with low self-esteem, low self-worth and absolutely terrified to try new things.

How to build your self-confidence and self-worth

So, here we are, back at the question; the question of what lies at the center of where I am today?. While the answer isn’t as straight forward as I would like, it does seem, at least in part, to have its origins in my childhood.

if we delve into the by-product of this childhood treatment, it’s not hard to imagine that it is potentially the fertilizer that helped to cultivate my major depressive disorder.

We can heal when we know what it was that damaged us.

And, even though I tried my best to pick myself up and dust myself off, the accumulation of pain became ingrained; each time I was made to feel this way, the open wound would widen and cut a little deeper. Multiply that by forty years, heck, twenty years even and you’ve got a recipe for depression.

Wirth all the above in mind, I feel that exploring thw inner child has some real validiy. It may help you to uncover the source of your mental pain. In my example, we saw that my outbursts of anger appear to have come from my treatment in childhood.

So, if you’re at a loss as to why you are feeling the way you do; maybe its worth exploring what lies at the center. We can heal when we know what it was that damaged us.

In crisis? Call 1.833.456.4566 | Text 45645 (Crisis Services Canada) Crisis Services Canada

Want to help make my book a reality? Donate here: GoFundMe

Contact: The Road To Mental Wellness

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