You Don’t See What I See – Being a firefighter exposes us to sights that are far from ordinary, sights that one would hope never to encounter. Such experiences can change one’s perspective, making them reconsider their own behavior. I hope you learn the lessons from this post so you can make better choices.
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Someone foolishly drives by on a motorbike wearing nothing but flip flops, shorts and a t-shirt; Cars going by in the morning fog, without daytime running lights; People speeding down the highways not understanding the mechanics of their vehicles and oblivious to the fact that they are driving in a three-thousand-pound hunk of metal, one that can destroy lives in an instant. Oh, and let’s not forget about wearing shorts in the dead of the Canadian winter, what’s that all about? I can only guess how many of our shorts wearing friends have clothes in their trunks just in case their vehicle breaks down in a snowstorm. I bet it’s not many.
It’s true, you don’t see what I see. In fact, if I were to bring it to your attention, you would probably act dismissive and try to make me seem stupid: “What’s the big deal?” or “It’s my life and therefore, my choice.”
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FYI, I get the “What’s the big deal?” one when I nicely tell people that they shouldn’t keep their office doors wide open. It is, after all, against the law to do so. See, fire loves open doors. But the one that gets me the most; the one that makes me cringe is “It’s my life and therefore, my choice.” This line makes me physically ill.
Why? Because it’s simply not true. Your choices have consequences. And guys like me, have seen the results of “it’s my life” silliness. That’s why I know that most of you don’t see what I see – what everyone in the emergency services sees. It’s the complete and utter destruction of one’s life. And all too often, it was preventable. Sadly what could have been prevented was a person of collateral damage. In other words, your “right to choose” has injured or killed someone else.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned over my fifteen years as a firefighter, it’s this. stupid choices and dumb decisions when they go wrong always hurt someone else. ALWAYS!
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I know what you’re thinking, “What if someone doesn’t have family and they go off the road and die? they’re not impacting anyone else?” Well, yes, they are. They are impacting the lives of all of those who work so diligently to save said person’s life. Many of us end up with the work injury, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Because of said “choice.”
And many of you, most of you, don’t get to see what we see, thank God. But because you don’t see it, you don’t have the experience to evaluate your choices and their repercussions.
While this is true, you can learn – educate yourself on the dangers of silly decisions. What’s more is you can do the right thing. For example, do the speed limit. You have no good reason to speed anywhere or at any time. In fact, any reason you come up with is not valid. Even if your mother is having a heart attack. Your goal should be to arrive alive. On average, you save about 12 minutes if you’re going 100km/h (60 mph)
(Note of interest)
The number of people I see driving heavy equipment and transport trucks with their eyes on their phones and not on the road is very scary and disturbing.
Despite the idea that 12 minutes is 12 minutes, it’s not sufficient enough time savings worth dying for or killing someone else. Which brings me to another point. Our tendency to justify what we do.
When you have extensive knowledge of the tragedies of life, all the justified statements you hear make people seem less intelligent and uncompassionate. “I was late for work,” “the person in front of me was going too slow,” “well he should have been traveling over the speed limit like everyone else does.” To my ears, these are stupid things to say. If you were going the speed limit, you are much more likely not to kill someone. Besides if you were late but still stopped for coffee, that’s a you problem.
Read About Speeding And Injury Facts
How are speed limits determined?
Speed limits aren’t arbitrary numbers plopped every so many kilometers, nor are they “recommended for you.” They are deduced by a number of factors. Factors such as:
- Engineering Studies: A traffic engineering study is typically conducted, which includes an analysis of the road’s physical characteristics, such as its design, surface conditions, sight distance, and the presence of pedestrians or bicyclists. The study might also take into account the road’s accident history and the types of vehicles that typically use the road.
- 85th Percentile Speed: This is a commonly used measure in setting speed limits. It’s the speed at or below which 85% of vehicles travel under free-flowing conditions. This is based on the principle that the majority of drivers are prudent and capable of selecting safe speeds.
- Surrounding Environment: Speed limits can also take into account the nature of the area surrounding the road. For example, lower speed limits might be set near schools or residential areas due to increased pedestrian activity.
- Local Laws and Regulations: Some areas have statutory speed limits, which are speed restrictions set by law. These often apply to specific types of vehicles (like heavy trucks), specific types of roads (like residential streets), or specific areas (like school zones).
- Public Input: Sometimes, public input is considered, especially for local roads and residential areas. However, these inputs must be balanced against safety data, as lower speed limits do not necessarily result in safer conditions.
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The Truth is, the laws and regulations designed to keep you safe are just that, to keep you safe. Sadly, many of these laws were enacted after a large-scale fire or crash happened. Take the open door in an office for example. Fire codes say all doors must be closed and for good reason. Fire travels faster with the introduction of air. Therefore, the less air, the slower the rate of fire spread. I am always amazed at the amount of dismissive behavior thrown at me when I point this out.
Like A firefighter of fifteen years has no clue what he’s talking about. No wonder people are so prone to conspiracy theories and misinformation. People think that the people in the know don’t know what they are talking about. Sound familiar? Somehow, everything has become about an individual’s “choice” no matter if its law or policy or the potential ramifications to others around you.
What’s this got to do with mental health?
Well, a lot really. From this older, retired firefighters view, at least. See, myself and many others in the emergency services have paid an awful price for a lot of people’s poor judgment. Now, I’m living with PTSD, unable to work because of the darker side of stupid decisions.
And honestly, much of what I had seen over my career was because of someone’s stupidity. So, thanks to you all for running my life as I knew it.
Therefore, I live each day in fear – fear that I will stumble across another avoidable, life-shattering mess. I wake up in fear and I go to bed exhausted from this fear. And in between times, in my slumber, I have nightmares about all the piss-poor judgements made that led to someone’s demise, including my own. Sadly, my hypervigilance and startle response make me laser-focused on the potential incidence that have got me here in the first place. I guess you could call it the loop of torture and fear.
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Jonathan speaking at the
Jonathan Speaking at the Stop Depression Summit
On February 23, 2023
His talk was on the ways in which you can take back your life when you have trauma and major depressive disorder
Now, you can watch Jonathan Speak at the Stop Depression Summit – FREE!
I was honored to be part of such a wonderfully resource rich summit with some of the foremost experts in the field.
Hence all the scenarios in the beginning of this post, I encounter these things all the time and like an eagle, locked in on their prey, I keep a vigil for every potential threat. See, I don’t want to encounter any more unnecessary death or injury. I see the dumb things humans do, no matter how seemingly insignificant.
I wish I could control it all, just to save me from my mental anguish. But alas, that will never happen.
Thankfully, I have worked my ass off to get to a better place, an accomplishment I would have never had achieved had I chosen things like bed rotting or simply lying to myself by saying “I’m fine.” I was clearly on my way out and therefore action was required.
My personal Recommendation.
A mental health healing journey is tough. Therefore, I recommend you don’t try just one thing. So, for example, don’t just take medication, incorporate walking three times a week. Your odds of making the road to mental wellness smoother increases.
While I can’t deny that the world would feel safer if people were more aware of their effects on others, I know that’s not going to happen. Therefore, I must do whatever it takes to manage trauma’s symptoms. From therapy, to mindfulness, to medications and exercise. My action plan to live is working. Is it where I imagined I would be? Am I thriving? Not exactly, but it is what it is. It’s now a question of what I am willing to do to make it the best life possible. Lastly, I accept my lot in life. It’s the best thing we with PTSD can do for meaningful and lasting peace.
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Finally, I will leave you with this: Your life isn’t over if you’re in a similar scenario. Rather, you are at a crossroads of a brand-new beginning. We can’t control the cards we are dealt, nor can we control the environment around us. We have to be the change, the advocate, the one willing to flex.
You got this.
Read: Trauma block: what is it and how can it be minimized?
Jonathan speaking at the
Jonathan Speaking at the Stop Depression Summit
On February 23, 2023
His talk was on the ways in which you can take back your life when you have trauma and major depressive disorder
Now, you can watch Jonathan Speak at the Stop Depression Summit – FREE!
I was honored to be part of such a wonderfully resource rich summit with some of the foremost experts in the field.
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