Undue Guilt

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Ever have someone do something where they were clearly to blame, yet you felt undue guilt for it? I know that it probably makes you feel worse for feeling said guilt, am I right? Feel a strong need to apologize for the thing you didn’t do? Well, you’re not alone. And I’m here to tell you that the only person you need to apologize to in this scenario is you.

Understanding Undue Guilt

The Role of Society

One of the issues, or so far as I can tell, when it comes to hating on anger so much in our society is that we feel it wrong to fight back. By fighting back, I mean setting boundaries and letting the offender own their part, for example.

The Importance of Boundaries

I think about anger often and wonder, “Have we got it all wrong about being angry? Maybe we shouldn’t be working so hard to banish anger from our repertoire of emotions. Heck, we need to embrace all of our emotions.

Rethinking Anger

Embracing Emotions

Keep in mind that embracing them and using them for hate are two different things. With that being said, maybe we feel undue guilt in the absence of having permission to use appropriate doses of anger. I think of appropriate anger as the strength we need to fend off the heavy burden of guilt that someone else owns. Again, I refer to anger as setting boundaries and defending yourself from others.

Anger as a Tool

Essentially, you can use low-dose anger as a catalyst to protect yourself from undue guilt, draw lines in the sand with the person giving you crap, and finally, it helps you all to be honest. I know it may be hard to believe, but when anger is channeled correctly, it can strengthen relationships and make you happier.

Benefits of Anger

Increased Assertiveness

When you feel angry, it can be easier to speak up for yourself and assert your boundaries.

Improved Problem-Solving Skills

Anger can help you think more critically about a problem or situation, leading to more effective problem-solving.

Increased Motivation

Anger can provide a surge of energy that can be channeled into making positive changes in your life.

Strengthened Relationships

When anger is expressed in a healthy way, it can help you communicate more openly and honestly with others, leading to stronger, more honest relationships.

Increased Self-Awareness

When you become angry, it can help you become more aware of your own needs and values, allowing you to make more intentional decisions in the future.

It’s important to note that these benefits are only possible when anger is channeled in healthy ways. Uncontrolled or repressed anger can have negative consequences for both your mental and physical health. If you’re struggling to manage your anger, it’s important to seek support from a mental health professional.

Channeling Anger Healthily


Engaging in physical activity like running, boxing, or weightlifting can help release pent-up anger in a healthy way.

Creative Expression

Painting, drawing, or writing can provide a creative outlet for your anger.


Practicing mindfulness can help you stay present and calm when you’re feeling angry, making it easier to channel your emotions in a positive way.

Deep Breathing

Taking slow, deep breaths can help you regulate your emotions and avoid impulsive reactions when you’re feeling angry.

Talking It Out

Talking to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist can help you process your anger and find healthy ways to cope.


If there is a specific issue or situation that is causing your anger, try to identify solutions and take action to address the problem in a constructive way.

The Utility of Anger

It’s important to find a channel or two that works for you. The more tools you have, the better. And like any other skillset, you will get better with practice. Yes, you can learn to manage your anger in healthy and constructive ways, leading to a happier you. Not only will it make you happier, but it will also erode away guilt that was never yours to own.

Learn to Manage and Thrive

  • His lifelong battle with depression
  •  The benefits of exercise
  • How to start to overcome the dread and exhaustion of depression
  • How small steps make huge differences
  • Scientifically backed techniques to help minimize depression, anxiety, and PTSD’s effects
  • How to set boundaries with yourself when you have a mental health condition·
  • How to optimize living your life with these debilitating mental illnesses.
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In conclusion, recognizing and embracing your anger can help you protect yourself from undue guilt, improve your relationships, and promote personal growth. By learning to channel your anger in healthy ways, you can turn it into a powerful tool for self-improvement and a more fulfilling life.


  1. Is it normal to feel guilt when I didn’t do anything wrong? Yes, it’s common to feel undue guilt in certain situations. However, recognizing that the guilt is misplaced and setting boundaries can help you overcome it.
  2. How can I manage my anger in a healthy way? Some healthy ways to manage your anger include exercise, creative expression, mindfulness, deep breathing, talking it out, and problem-solving.
  3. Can anger actually improve my relationships? Yes, when anger is expressed in a healthy way, it can lead to more open and honest communication, which can strengthen relationships.
  4. What are some benefits of embracing anger? Benefits of embracing anger include increased assertiveness, improved problem-solving skills, increased motivation, strengthened relationships, and increased self-awareness.
  5. What should I do if I can’t control my anger? If you’re struggling to control your anger, consider seeking support from a mental health professional who can help you develop healthy coping strategies.

Message from Jonathan.

As the Founder and Chief content creator for http://theroadtomentalwellness.com, I would like to thank you all for stopping by. We work hard on our content with the reader in mind. Our purpose, to help others by telling our stories. We hope that we are delivering on our mission. Please, let us know if you have found it helpful in the comments sections or follow us on social media and let us know there. Remember, you are not alone, we are all in this together. Please, like and share our content. Especially if you feel like others can benefit from our own experiences. We all thank you for taking the time to read and share our content. Please comeback and keep up to date.

Finally, take care of yourself and if you need help, go to our Mental Health Resources Page.

Further Reading Links

  1. The Upside of Anger: 6 Psychological Benefits of Getting Mad – Psychology Today explores the potential benefits of anger when it’s channeled in healthy ways.
  2. How to Turn Your Anger into a Force for Good – Huffington Post offers insights on how to transform anger into a positive force in your life.
  3. Anger Management: 10 Tips to Tame Your Temper – Mayo Clinic provides tips for managing anger and preventing it from causing harm to yourself or others.
  4. The Surprising Benefits of Anger – Forbes discusses the surprising benefits of anger and how it can help you in various aspects of your life.
  5. How to Free Yourself of Misplaced Guilt – Psychology Today delves into the reasons behind feeling guilt when we haven’t done anything wrong.
  6. 7 Irrational Guilt: How to Put It to Rest – Psychology Today provides strategies for dealing with and overcoming undue guilt.

Remember, if you’re struggling with anger management or feelings of undue guilt, seeking support from a mental health professional can be beneficial in helping you develop healthy coping strategies.

Jonathan Arenburg

Jonathan Reginald-Nixon Arenburg (Born January 14, 1976) is a Canadian mental health blogger, speaker, and published author. Retired from the fire service and long-term care fields, he has written and self-published an autobiographical account of his life-long battle with anxiety, depression and more recently, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Titled, The Road To Mental Wellness, he wrote it for what he calls “therapeutic release.” He published it in hopes it would help others going through similar mental health conditions. The sales of The Road To Mental Wellness have been steady selling over 300 copies since its release on October 10, 2021(World Mental Health Day). Arenburg has also been involved in a collaborative publication Called Lemonade Stand Volume III, a book featuring 20 authors who bravely tell their stories of PTSD. All authors where from the military and or emergency services. Published by Joshua Rivedal and Kathleen Myers for the i’Mpossible project, a mental health advocacy organization. Jonathan has also appeared on several mental health podcasts including The Depression Files, A New Dawn, and The Above Ground Podcast Arenburg has also consulted with the Government of Nova Scotia and the Minister of Mental Health and Addictions, the Honorable Brian Comer and Candidates for the New Democratic Party of Canada, on improving the mental health care system in Canada. Additionally, Jonathan was recognized in The Nova Scotia Legislature by the Honorable, Chris Palmer, Kings-North MLA, for his Book, The Road To Mental Wellness, his fight to make the mental health care system better. In addition, Chis acknowledged the support he gives to others.

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