Healing with your bros – This often-overlooked thing can be just as helpful for men as talking it out can be for others. So, get together and hang with your bros!
Here at The Road To Mental Wellness, we want to take time to acknowledge men by wishing all the men in the world an early happy International Men’s Day November 19, 2022
“Men, we need to talk more. We can’t stay silent about our innermost demons.” As a counselor and mental-health writer, man, and advocate, I couldn’t agree more. Taking time to battle what’s taking you apart from the inside is indeed helpful. My advice? Seek actual therapy to tackle what ails you. Trust me, my man friends, therapy is a safe one-on-one place. It’s perfect for those who don’t like to bare their souls to others.
Equally true, though, is this: men have another – rarely talked about, yet equally healthy – way of “dealing.” In fact, it’s so rarely talked about that I can’t find it on the internet. At least not in the form of being offered as a technique. So, what’s this unidentified way of healing?
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Why, it’s healing with your bros, of course! It’s well known that many men don’t communicate like women, yet we are encouraged to talk as if we are all capable of it. Now, before I go any further:
This article is not an assault on anyone, women or otherwise. Rather, its purpose is to help a segment of our human population that, like any other, deserves it. If you see something that offends you, that’s not the intention. While what we read, hear, and watch can be open to interpretation, please realize that the above is in fact, about bettering the lives of a deserving portion of our population. Just like yours.
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See, many men do just fine with their mental well-being when they have a few close male friends. Moreover, we tend to enjoy activity-based things together. Things like working on cars, playing video games, and sports. We focus less on the painful matter and prioritize cooperation and teasing as a way to “decompress”
So, my argument here is that men don’t always need to talk about how they are feeling. Rather, hanging with their bros is often enough.
Say you and your best friend take on a project car together. (Insert your dream project here). What generally happens is we go into “problem-solving mode.” a place where we actually get to figure things out. In other words, the focus is mostly committed to the project at hand. Let’s solve it!
However, in-between breaking a bolt and changing a spark plug, a man may say to his bro:
“Man, this week sucked! My kid was acting up all week; drives me crazy!” Followed by something like, “I hear ya bro.” And back to the task at hand. “Sh$%, is that oil leaking from the valve pan gasket?” And somewhere in the course of the time they are tearing off the valve pan gasket, the buddy will turn and say something like, “It’s gonna be alright, dude – it will pass.
Believe it or not, for many, the connection and teamwork taking place and the tiny banter about feelings is often healing, often enough.
My friends, I want to tell you that it’s okay to handle things like you’re wired. Just know that if you can’t shake your demons despite this, get help – tell someone!
Male friendships often look like this
So, why is this so often overlooked? Well, some of it is no doubt a product of our times, that we are encouraged to engage our feminine side more often. However, there are other reasons.
We have given in to so much of the “I’m too busy” narrative that all people fall victim to today. Therefore, it’s hard to form and maintain high-value, male friendships.
Furthermore, we have learned over the last eighty years that human connection is strongly correlated with longevity. Some studies suggest that it can improve longevity by 50%. That’s amazing. Prioritize your best buds; everyone on earth needs time with those they care for – everyone!
Finally, what does this tell us about men and their mental health? If given the freedom to handle their mental well-being in a way that is more inline with their communication style, they can have another option to get through the more difficult moments in their lives. So, go ahead, break some sh$% and do some healing with your bros.