Self-love – it matters for more reasons than you think

The Road To Mental Wellness > Mental Health > Self-love – it matters for more reasons than you think

We often hear, “You have to love yourself before you can love another.”  I tend to think this is true. But Self-love – it matters for more reasons than you think. Find out why.

Jonathan Arenburg
Jonathan Arenburg

Jonathan is a mental health blogger, published author, and speaker. He has appeared in numerous newspapers and has been a guest on many podcasts.

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Learning to love yourself is a formidable mountain unto itself, but so worth the pain it produces. For in its aftermath, is a new sense of peace, purpose, and, well, you! While it may seem self-evident that self-love is a game changer, we might not appreciate its full power.

However, there are a few things that I deem necessary to clarify. First off, being unkind and masking it in truth and honesty are not indications that you love yourself. Secondly, Self-love can only be realized by a growth mindset. Doing the same ole, same ole, will, in most cases, not get you where you need to be.

So, for example, if you have a temper, you know how awful you feel about yourself when it flares. “Man, I hate myself for yelling and being mean.” followed by, “I’m such an a**hole.” While getting angry is healthy, to some extent, it can be problematic if you’re quick to blow.

4 fundamentals for authentic love

In this example, the opposite of a growth mindset is to say, “Oh, well, I am who I am.” But ask yourself this: “What growing am I doing if I endorse a behaviour that makes me hate myself?” Sorry to say, the answer is none.

Alternatively, if you truly hate your temper, the question you should ask yourself is. “How do I go about learning to control it?” First off, recognize that your temper is a by-product of something and therefore, does not define you as a person. So, below, are some ways to work on improving yourself.

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The most important thing to keep in mind is that a temper makes up but a portion of who you are, so be kind to yourself. Simply acknowledge it and work on it every day. Remember, it seems so pervasive in your life because anger by its very nature is intense.

Second, you can find an anger management class. While these get a bad rap from movies and others, they are, nonetheless, a great place to start. However, if you’re not into group sessions, which isn’t the thing for many, individual counselling is a great alternative.

Or better yet, combine the two! A journey to grow means you take every opportunity to better yourself.

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Remember, as long as you are moving forward, you are growing.

Self-love – it matters for more reasons than you think

So, in what ways does self-love matter? Well, for starters, once self-actualized, it’s like a veil of self-hate has been lifted. So, for that reason alone, it matters a lot. More than that, though, it gives us strength to fix and or turn away from our old selves and towards all the things we always wanted but didn’t feel worthy to go after. I. e, because we were consumed by our depression, for example.

But let’s take the temper example: if one can work towards minimizing their episodes, then they will, almost by default, turn down the self-hate. This “turning down the hate volume.” often clears the air to hear all the things one loves about themselves. And the bonus of it all? Because of it, we will be motivated to keep growing.

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And once one has a genuine love for themselves, they will not only find healthier intimate partner relationships, but their world will open up.

That’s why self-love matters more than you think. Once you are in a better relationship with yourself, you will find that you have more desire to pursue long-held passions for example. Not only will you have the mental energy to love another and follow a passion, but you’ll also probably find yourself wanting to improve even more.

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Find out more below – Written for therapeutic release, published in hopes it helps you.

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For instance: your courage may land you in the gym or tying up those running shoes; maybe you’ll take that dream trip or chase that dream job.

Whatever you’re secretly hiding deep down, you are much more likely to bring it to the surface and go after it if you take action to grow into loving you.

If you are struggling, please go here for help: Crisis Services Canada

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Self-love – it matters for more reasons than you think.

copyright 2022

Jonathan Arenburg

Jonathan Arenburg is a mental health blogger, S speaker, writer, and published author; He is also the host of the mental wellness podcast, #thewellnesstalksHe has also appeared in the i'Mpossible's Lemonade Stand III. He has also been a contributing writer for Mental health talk, a column in his local paper. In addition, he has also written for the mental health advocacy organization; Sick Not Weak.Jonathan has also appeared on several mental health-related podcasts Including: A New Dawn, The Depression Files, Books and Authors, and Men Are Nuts. Since being put off work because of PTSD, Jonathan has dedicated his time to his mental wellness journey while helping others along the way.Educated as an addictions' counsellor, he has dedicated most of his professional life of eighteen years, working with those who have intellectual disabilities, behavioural challenges, and mental illness.He has also spent fifteen years in the volunteer fire service helping his community.His new book (2021), “The Road To Mental Wellness,” goes into detail about his life-long battle with depression, anxiety and more recently, PTSD. In it, he hopes to provide insight on how mental illness cultivates over a lifetime and, if not recognized and treated, how it impacts the entirety of one's life; right from childhood into the adult years. Jonathan lives with his two children in Nova Scotia, Canada.

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