HELL ON EARTH – It is said that trauma comes from many places or events, figuring out and coping can be some of the biggest challenges someone has to do. The healing of such things can take months, even years to do.
The re-occurring of memories can be dark and painful. But for some re-living memories is not a good idea while others, it is a method of trying to put things into place.
The mind uses memories as a tool. Sometimes, like any tool – it needs assistance. It can’t do it alone. You cannot join two pieces of wood without a hammer and nail. You need to access the proper tools in order to complete your project. But memories sometimes feel like they get in the way. Other times, re-living memories is a way of finding answers – to clarify and clean the mud out of the cobwebs – to see options and re-establish oneself. There is no one way.
Read Jonathan Arenburg’s post Laugh away your symptoms
Trauma, on any level, is difficult and for some it is a hell on earth – dealing with harsh memories and not knowing how to escape the labyrinth of the mind. Seeing and knowing what to do are completely different. Furthermore, the angst that is created during this time is real, the panic attacks are real. You cannot stop them. These ‘attacks’ are a way of your body saying ‘ hey, step back’. But even as I write this, I think of how many times people have said to me ‘ don’t act that way”. The thing is you are not ‘acting’. These are real emotions boiling to the surface and sometimes you don’t even know where these emotions are coming from. For myself, reliving memories was a way to pinpoint why I react to a situation. This does not work for everyone.
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As a person what has suffered from trauma, I write this from my perspective. Knowing who to turn to, feeling like you can turn to someone has been a big step in this process for me. One of the hardest challenges for me has been to shut people out while I figure things out. This is against my nature, but for me I felt it was the best way. I needed to find my sense of worth as a person. I had to be alone.
However, this state needs not to be recognized as limitation or a disability, but rather, as a method of coping. This can be a dangerous spot and it is through support and guidance that can clear the “brain fog” in this maze. It is having some kind of support, or a second thought person, to help make decisions – the right ones.
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Now, I am at a spot where I can welcome people into my life again and that is a wonderful feeling. Seek support, but furthermore, I realize that truly, you are not the only one on this road. It is dark, twisted and scary road and we need each other to get through it.
/HELL ON EARTH