The recovery journey was like a roller coaster ride. Until I realized, It’s the journey, not the destination.
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Hey folks, I hope you all are doing just fine and taking good care of yourself physically and mentally. I have been away for a while, precisely because I was getting used to life. It sounds bizarre, but that’s the truth. The journey to re-live post clinical depression has been one of its kind.
The recovery journey was like a roller coaster ride. Full of emotions, feelings, and the idea of reaching the destination where I fully recover.
I did recover, I survived the storm, and I reached the goal, but what I came to terms with was the whole notion of the very famous quote, “It’s not the destination, It’s the journey.” This was precisely what I felt post my therapy session, where my therapist told me that you have successfully recovered.
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That feeling of getting out of that black hole, defeating it, and recovering from such a huge fight was blank. I was pretty numb for good two-three days because the acceptance of seeing life from the other side of the coin was unacceptable. There were some days/months in my life when I doubted whether I would survive or not. So, the acceptance of having to re-live without that demon was so unreal, but then I believe this is what happens when you are in a shell for too long.
You tend to escape reality. The initial days were confusing and overwhelming for me to accept how far I had come. But gradually, with time, I did come to terms with cherishing life and started to re-live. I had some anxious mornings, tears and often that numb feeling. But I sailed through, courtesy of my mother giving me such a good life lesson. She asked me a straightforward question have you ever seen what happens in a race? I said yes, people run and try to win the race; some do, some don’t.
She said yes, but what does one do when they win the race. I did not know the answer, so she said they fall on the ground breathes before taking that first position they have secured. The idea here is that I have been running for a very long time, and finally when I reach that mark, that final destination, all I have to do is breathe and let things fall on their own. And that was such an apt analogy considering my fight against depression.
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Being an overthinker, my anxious thoughts were quick enough to make me feel low and question, “What next?” But then this whole little life lesson, which impacted me big time, made me realise that even in life, after a huge battle, you still have to take one day at a time, no matter what. And that’s what kept me going, still is. I still have my inner demons to fight, but I believe that’s life.
Life can never be hunky-dory feels. Sometimes yes, but not always. Even happiness comes in waves. I read somewhere that happy life is a paradox because no one’s life is mere happiness. If you read a biography of someone who is considered positive, you notice that there is always something challenging. At least a slight setback in their story.
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Happiness is all about seeing the bigger picture and emphasising the positive. It’s about surfing on the forever changing waves of emotions. No feelings last forever- that’s the part of beauty. Isn’t it true? I have learned so much in this journey that I will gradually share my learning with time. Still, today, all I want to share is that if you believe in yourself and seek the right help, you will sail through the storm — fighting depression isn’t an easy fight, but it’s not impossible because you are not alone. You have to fight through some bad days to earn the best days of your life.
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Take a trip down my mental wellness road and find yourself as you learn to overcome your own life-long battle with mental illness.
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If you have a friend or loved one fighter for their own mental wellness, The Road To Mental Wellness is a must read to help you understand their fight.
Learn more about Jonathan at his Author page.
You don’t need to drown the darkness with light. No need to replace negativity with positivity. You bring the darkness to the light, like an offering. That means you honour what is first before you try to change it. You meet yourself where you’re at before moving forward. Then you can even bring light to the places and situations where there’s barely any left. All you need to do is believe in yourself.
No matter what you’re going through, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, and it may seem not very easy to get to it, but you can do it and keep working towards/ it, and you’ll find the positive side of things. It’s not easy, but I can assure you that it’s worth it. Take that leap of faith and keep fighting because that day isn’t far from where you will conquer your demons, one by one.
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I am still learning the fact that life is a journey; enjoy the trip. Aim for the sky, but move slowly, enjoying every step along the way. It is all those little steps that make the journey complete. The journey is a reward. Stay patient and trust your journey. Life is about the journey, not about the destination. Life is a journey; travel it well.
I will end this blog with a lesson from one of my favourite books –
You have survived everything you have been through, and you will survive this too. Stay for the person you will become. You are more than a bad day, or week or months, or year, or even decade. You are a future of multifarious possibility. You are another self at a point in future time looking back in gratitude that this lost and former you held on. Stay.
– The comfort book by Matt Haig
I am sending you lots of love, hope, positivity and hugs your way. See you next time. ❤
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It’s the journey not the destination.
I would like to than Parika for her amazing contribution to The Road To Mental Wellness. It’s the journey not the destination is a great example of her wonderful work.
Jonathan
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