Self-care is important but be aware

In this day and age, it should go without saying that selfcare is essential for one’s wellbeing. Whether you have a mental illness or not, taking time for yourself can help manage the stressors of everyday life. So yes, Self-care is important but be aware……….

Self-care is important but be aware Can too much self-care stunt our progress? Some would say there’s such a thing as too much of a good thing.

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While it’s true that life can beat the heck out of you, it’s equally true that we allow it. With that said, there are many stressors beyond our control: work, traffic, how people respond to you, etc. Such a heavy burden on one soul.

But when was the last time you did something, you love? How long has your passion been sitting there in the back of your mind collecting dust? There is good news, you not only have the power to answer these questions, but you also have control over what action you take. You can take up the thing you love again, or not, it’s up to you. Although the latter is likely the less healthy of the two.

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For many, the answer probably goes “Oh God, I can’t remember the last time I read a book.” Of course, the preferred downtime method varies depending on who you are, but the effects of deprioritizing time for oneself are similar. Increasing levels of anxiety and depression are two of the most common effects.

So, for me, the question becomes “What is driving this self-neglect?” In my view, the answer is guilt – at least in part. We feel guilty if we say no to someone, especially to those we love. It can feel as if we are doing something wrong when we say no. And I would argue that yes, we are indeed doing something wrong. We are needlessly punishing ourselves for the sake of others. To say, “I need time for me” isn’t wrong. In fact, it’s the opposite of wrong. (This of course assumes that you aren’t too involved with you meeting your own needs all of the time! As with many things in life, there is a need for balance.)

Selfcare is important but be aware

While there can be no doubt that we run around, fulfilling the needs of everyone around us – boss, kids, partners, etc. – and that we often take a backseat doing it, there also can be such a thing as too much self-care. For example, sometimes, looking after yourself can involve taking time in bed because of your depression. However, how long is healthy? Where does one draw the line between self-care and damaging oneself in and the relationship they have with others?

That’s the very reason I say self-care is important – but be aware. When you are depressed, you can fall victim to its exhausting powers, and stay in bed for too long.

I can’t say what is too long for one person or another. In saying that, I do feel like there is a limit to taking care of oneself. Afterall, after a certain period of time, self-care could stifle recovery. Why? Well, as far as I can tell, too much of a good thing, can become a crutch not a tool for healing.

To be clear, self-care should always be ongoing, I feel however, that the proper type of continual care for yourself includes things like good diet, appropriate levels of exercise, connection with others and so on. I do all these things, but I am constantly evaluating whether I have become the only thing in my life that matters. Hahaha! Hey, it can happen.

“I set limits”

I have major depressive disorder. This mental-health condition can put me down and out several times a year. Thankfully, knowing my limits has helped me minimize depression’s mindset. While knowing my limits is important, it’s equally important that I set limits within these depressive states themselves. How? Well, I give myself permission to go to bed, forget about the outside world and let the exhaustion overtake me.

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But is this self-care? For me, the answer is yes – but only because I set an upper limit of three days. After that, I roll myself on the floor and start my day. (Note: when I do this, I always feel better.) However, If I used self-care as an excuse to keep myself in bed longer, I would slip in a sea of darkness. The exact opposite of what self-care is designed to do.


On the road to mental wellness, this would be the equivalent of turning around and going back the way I came. I don’t know about you, but I never want to go backwards. It’s hard enough having PTSD and reliving those most traumatic of moments.

The takeaway? Many of the coping skills we deploy to help us win the daily struggle have their own limitations. Not enough self-care? We can edge ever closer to a disability. Too much self-care? It can allow our mental illness to hold us captive. In my view, it’s all about finding a healthy balance.

Now, you can listen to our posts – go to our Audio blogs page.

“Our goal should always be to strive for the happy stretches that we are blessed with. That’s why self-care is so important”

– Jonathan Arenburg
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Self-care is important but be aware – copyright 2021

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Jonathan Arenburg

Jonathan Reginald-Nixon Arenburg (Born January 14, 1976) is a Canadian mental health blogger, speaker, and published author. Retired from the fire service and long-term care fields, he has written and self-published an autobiographical account of his life-long battle with anxiety, depression and more recently, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Titled, The Road To Mental Wellness, he wrote it for what he calls “therapeutic release.” He published it in hopes it would help others going through similar mental health conditions. The sales of The Road To Mental Wellness have been steady selling over 300 copies since its release on October 10, 2021(World Mental Health Day). Arenburg has also been involved in a collaborative publication Called Lemonade Stand Volume III, a book featuring 20 authors who bravely tell their stories of PTSD. All authors where from the military and or emergency services. Published by Joshua Rivedal and Kathleen Myers for the i’Mpossible project, a mental health advocacy organization. Jonathan has also appeared on several mental health podcasts including The Depression Files, A New Dawn, and The Above Ground Podcast Arenburg has also consulted with the Government of Nova Scotia and the Minister of Mental Health and Addictions, the Honorable Brian Comer and Candidates for the New Democratic Party of Canada, on improving the mental health care system in Canada. Additionally, Jonathan was recognized in The Nova Scotia Legislature by the Honorable, Chris Palmer, Kings-North MLA, for his Book, The Road To Mental Wellness, his fight to make the mental health care system better. In addition, Chis acknowledged the support he gives to others.

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