I treasure my own company
I treasure my own company, in fact, I love it. But is it really me that wants to remain a recluse, or is it PTSD and Depression?Tweet
For people with PTSD, they will understand when I say “I treasure my own company.” Well, yes and no. I mean I do; however, I’d love to be able to have what many non-suffers have, the ability to go the distance. Mental Illness, at least for me, seems to rob me of what I will call the ability to function in an everyday life type scenario.
But alas, I cannot, at least not yet. Will I get there? Hmmm, maybe I am there; maybe the road to mental wellness is a long longer, and a bit bumpier than I had anticipated. In any case, there are only two things I can do.
- Learn to be okay with where I am and work within my symptoms
- Keep doing whatever I have to, to get better, to make it back to a life of normality.
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Perhaps the most pertinent question for me at the moment i: “Where am I right now?” Oh, and let’s not forget “How do I know?” Geez, loaded or what?
Regardless of how tough these questions are to answer, they must never become the elephant in the room. They require your attention. If not, how do you get better? Staying where you are because it’s “Just easier” seems like a solution, but is it really?
Are you stuck or getting worse? Have you surrendered yourself to your bed and the calm of seclusion? Well, if you have, then you’re not healing. Don’t get me wrong. Self-care is an essential part of one’s healing journey, but in the end, action will be required.
Despite the fact that I treasure my own company, I know that disappearing, as I call it, for as long as PTSD wants, is a path to personal destruction. What I find is the most difficult for people to see is when they are under the spell of their mental illness. For instance, When Depression Speaks, it’s as though it wants to undermine your attempts at recovery. Telling you lies like “I hate myself” or “I can’t do the world, so I’ll completely avoid it.”
I have been able to customize my life by learning the language of mental illness. It wants me to give in, and knowing that, I fight back by doing the opposite. I fight on. I do so in the following ways:
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- Therapy – find a good therapist.
- Exercise – it really is mother nature’s medication.
- Built a great support network. Often, people want to help, so don’t let your illness push them away. Embrace them.
- Social integration. It’s hell at times – nonetheless, it is action and thus moving forward.
- Mindfulness. Learning to be in the here and now is essential.
- Finally, I treasure my own company. But I never become a slave to my solitude. Therefore, I don’t spend my life secluded. From my experience, it’s not good for healing.
I know it’s not easy and everyone’s mental health condition affects them differently. Despite that, why not try some of these things? Remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint. Commit to what you can for as long as you can and then build off that. Take a half-hour for coffee with a friend, push it to 35 minutes, an hour and so on. You are in a state of action and thus on your way down the road to mental wellness…You got this!