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Mental Health

I Just Want To Be Believed

I knew something wasn't right with my mental wellbeing, so once I was stong enough to get help, I just want to be believed

I knew something wasn’t right with my mental wellbeing, so once I was stong enough to get help, I just want to be believed

Way back when my PTSD battle began, I was understandably struggling. I felt lost because I had no idea what the future looked like; In fact, I still don’t. I was caught up in a point of transition, as dark as a moonless night. Not only was I filled with a feeling of hopelessness, but I was also terrified that no one would care. Sad really because I just want to be believed; I did back then, and I still do, want to be believed now.

But How? What I found so scary at the time was, the way psychiatric disorders are diagnosed. Unlike many physical ailments, which are diagnosed with MRI’s PET scans, etc., mental illness is diagnosed by observation; it’s diagnostic criteria mostly coming from the diagnostics and statistics manual. Also known as the DSM-5

Contained within its pages are typical symptoms that define the permeameters of a psychiatric condition.

Read: Emergency Service PTSD.

For instance, posttraumatic stress disorder has its own set of symptoms that one must meet in order to be diagnosed with it. Some of these symptoms include:

  • Nightmares and flashbacks
  • Nightmares and flashbacks.
  • Intrusive memories they can’t seem to rid themselves of.
  • Experiencing emotional and physical distress after something reminds them of their traumas

For a complete list of PTSD symptoms: diagnostic criteria for PTSD

I just want to be believed
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While I was absolutely convinced that my years as a firefighter had taken an enormous toll on my health; knowing that diagnosis by observation is, at the end of the day, an opinion. Despite having complete confidence in the mental health professionals, I was sitting a across from, I was, rightfully so worried. I mean, my entire life was in the balance, and it was left in the hands of what they were seeing.

I was understandably, worried, I just wanted to be believed; in fact, it was essential for my survival. Although it is left for the eyes if the professionals to determine my mental health, I continually asked myself, “how can we make sure we don’t miss the truth/” In other words, articulating what’s going on inside can be a daunting thing to get out into the open.

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In my case, I had a tough time because, one, I could not recall the incident in its entirety; I was anxious at a level eight, and I was disassociating at the same time. In my view, my symptoms did a wonderful job at running interference.

In my case, this muddied the waters and made it more difficult for an accurate assessment. I think of it like when you are on a cell phone and the call starts to break up; because of it, you only get pieces of the story.

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While this approach to diagnosing someone has can have some pretty serious repercussions, especially if misdiagnosed, it’s important to understand that our mental health professionals are competent, very well trained, and in my experience; most of our awesome psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors, therapist etc. do it because they have a passion to make a real difference.

Therefore, I want to make clear, that it’s not about them, but rather, it’s about the fear of having someone make decisions based on what someone, someone with a mental health condition tells them. I just want to be believed because so many people have told me to “Suck it up.” This, of course, is merely one of many things I have heard over the years so, why wouldn’t I fear not being believed? I mean, by the time I sat across from a clinician, I was primed to be to expect not being believed. Sad really……

Have you had a similar experience? Let us know in the comments below. Or on our Facebook page Facebook – The Road To Mental Wellness


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Jonathan Arenburg.
Jonathan Arenburg.

Jonathan Arenburg is a mental health blogger, writer, and published author; appearing in the i’Mpossible’s Projects Lemonade Stand III. He has also been a contributing writer for Mental health talk, a column in his local paper. In addition, he has also written for the mental health advocacy organization; Sick Not Weak.

Jonathan has also appeared on several mental health-related podcasts Including: A New Dawn, The Depression Files, Books and Authors, and Men Are Nuts. Since being put off work because of PTSD, Jonathan has dedicated his time to his mental wellness journey while helping others along the way.

Educated as an addictions’ counsellor, he has dedicated most of his professional life of eighteen years, working with those who have intellectual disabilities, behavioural challenges, and mental illness.

He has also spent fifteen years in the volunteer fire service helping his community.

His book, “The Road To Mental Wellness,” goes into detail about his life-long battle with depression, anxiety and more recently, PTSD. In it, he hopes to provide insight on how mental illness cultivates over a lifetime and, if not recognized and treated, how it impacts the entirety of one’s life, right from childhood into the adult years. Jonathan lives with his two children in Nova Scotia, Canada.

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