We have a problem that’s having a harmful effect on us and everyone around us. The good news? It’s the one thing we can get better at.Tweet
One Thing We Can Get Better At – Updated August 10, 2022
Ah, the hustle and bustle of modern life: from chasing kids around to getting them off to school, to meeting that work deadline…the world, or so it seems, doesn’t care about your needs. Yet, despite this, you still give everything and everyone your very best.
While you go at the speed of a supercar, only stopping when your head hits the pillow, what support are you getting? Do you secretly feel like you’re coming apart from the inside out?
“I don’t want to be a burden to my family or my friends.” a comment I hear all too often. Yet, the world is using those who feel this way, correct? If this is true, then you deserve some support too. It’s okay to think of you too.
Moreover, you need to have the courage to ask for said support. Super tough, though, right? Well, as much as I’d like my own reluctance to be the reason I don’t always get the help I need, it is in reality but one factor.
So then, what might the other factors be? In my view, one of the biggies is our social disconnect – the myth that those who care have to wait because we’re “too busy” to check in. However, we are wired for social connection. In fact, it’s so important, that humans would have likely perished a long time ago without it.
Our ancestors needed to band together to survive. If you were left out, you were something’s lunch. Therefore, social development and connection became absolutely essential for our survival.
But in today’s world, we have slightly deviated from social connection. While we haven’t abandoned our tribal ways, we have, nonetheless, distanced ourselves from one another.
With that said, in the big picture, we still have large and functional societies, we also interact with co-workers to perform our work requirements, and we still live with our immediate families. I know what you are thinking: “John, it sounds like we are still leaning on one another to survive.” Yes, we are, but…I think it’s important to break it down to a smaller subset to get to what I am talking about.
So, if we are thriving, when it comes to modern tribalism, what’s the one thing we can get better at? From my perspective, the two groups we belong to: friends and family, need the most love, yet they get the least of our time. For example, we have gotten used to the notion that our workplaces or work connections, are way more of a priority than those who make up our support network. Rather sad, if you ask me.
Even though we have to work, look after our homes and run our children to their activities, does this really mean we are too busy to at least check in on others we care about? My contention is, no. For me, it’s a question of individual priority and what we tell ourselves. In other words, we justify not spending time with those we love most by saying, “I’m too busy.” If one takes a moment, surely, all of us can see the flawed thinking in this?
“Time and money are both borrowed, just one is more important to invest in. In this instance only one choice is the right one“Jonathan Arenburg.
Here’s the thing:
We all need one another! Our involvement with those we cherish or lack thereof, is more than social, it’s a necessity to our survival and essential for our mental wellbeing.
In conclusion, the one thing we can get better at is taking under five minutes to reach out to those we love and ask them: “How are you doing? I just wanted to take a moment to say I’m thinking about you” There really is no reason why you can’t. Think about how you feel when you get a surprise visit or phone call. Feels good right? This choice is a two-way street. So, reach out to those you love: trust me it does wonders for their, and your, mental health.
If you are struggling, please go here for help: Crisis Services Canada