Why Am I Not Good Enough?

Why Am I Not Good Enough? Many ask themselves this every day, for years and years. It can be debilitating, low self-esteem but… it can be changed.

Why Am I Not Good Enough?

Why am I not good enough? This is a question I hear often. When I sit down one on one with people who seek my counsel, I hear this often. My first thought when I hear it, is: “What’s driving his/her/ their statement?” So, after I listen to their story, I ask them.

I ask why they feel as if they are not good enough. I usually hear two common answers. Firstly, many people communicate this question because they have never felt good enough for any of their partners – a very disheartening place to be for most.

Secondly, some people have always had the life punched out of their self-esteem by their upbringing. When one is raised in a constantly critical environment, this can cultivate feelings of worthlessness, often giving rise to this question: “Why am I not good enough?”

Ways to improve your self-esteem

While some may have some resilience to the impact of such a statement, many of us build negative self-scripts around it. For example, if one is constantly having their actions questioned and or criticized, it can expand the statement into others, just as damaging statements. Before one knows it, they are telling themselves, “I can’t do it!” or “I will never amount to anything.”

And… for those who seemingly end up with failed partnerships? Well, perhaps things keep going awry because they don’t quite believe in themselves to be a “worthy” partner. The phrase in their head? “I’m not good enough.”

However, when I get to know a person’s story better, what I often find is that they chose incompatible people as partners. Many seem to choose the same behavioural archetype. But why? Well, from what I can tell, it has a lot to do with how much they love themselves, or lack thereof.

If you are struggling, please go here for help: Talk Suicide Canada
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Perhaps just as impactful, is something I have also heard often: many people tell me how they gave up their dreams for a partner who capitalized on their lack of confidence. Since that person has come and gone, they now define themselves based on the negativity surrounding that one relationship. Hence, they find someone similar, while at the same time, slowly losing hope that they will ever see their passions realized.

In other words, they are bright and have a burning desire to achieve a better life for themselves, but they sadly get stuck on that question “Why am I not good enough?” Years of falling into the same thing as the last, with just a different face, can make one ask this question…. a lot. But here’s the good news, you are much more than you think you are. Here’s why. Remember, you can do something about it.


Firstly, seek out the help of a good therapist. They can help you through many approaches like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Then, find a life coach to help you make a plan, guide you through it and help hold you accountable and motivated. No dream can be realized without a great plan and someone in your corner, cheering you on.

Contact me below to arrange a one on one

So, say you always wanted to be a nurse. It will cost you absolutely nothing to ask yourself, “What do I have to do to get my nursing license?” A quick internet search can help point you in the right direction. So then, what’s next?

Sample plan

Want to pursue your dream job? Below, you can download my free action plan to get you started. Contact me if you are looking for someone to help you reach your goals.

Remember, a plan is only as good as the work you put into it. However, if you use it as your cornerstone for success and follow through with a plan, eventually your self- esteem will grow as you move forward towards the you you’ve always wanted to be.

“Remember, you are much more than you realize you are.”

Jonathan Arenburg.
If you are struggling, please go here for help: Talk Suicide Canada

Message from Jonathan.

As the Founder and Chief content creator for http://theroadtomentalwellness.com, I would like to thank you all for stopping by. We work hard on our content with the reader in mind. Our purpose, to help others by telling our stories. We hope that we are delivering on our mission. Please, let us know if you have found it helpful in the comments sections or follow us on social media and let us know there. Remember, you are not alone, we are all in this together. Please, like and share our content. Especially if you feel like others can benefit from our own experiences. We all thank you for taking the time to read and share our content. Please comeback and keep up to date.

Finally, take care of yourself and if you need help, go to our Mental Health Resources Page.

Jonathan Arenburg

Jonathan Reginald-Nixon Arenburg (Born January 14, 1976) is a Canadian mental health blogger, speaker, and published author. Retired from the fire service and long-term care fields, he has written and self-published an autobiographical account of his life-long battle with anxiety, depression and more recently, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Titled, The Road To Mental Wellness, he wrote it for what he calls “therapeutic release.” He published it in hopes it would help others going through similar mental health conditions. The sales of The Road To Mental Wellness have been steady selling over 300 copies since its release on October 10, 2021(World Mental Health Day). Arenburg has also been involved in a collaborative publication Called Lemonade Stand Volume III, a book featuring 20 authors who bravely tell their stories of PTSD. All authors where from the military and or emergency services. Published by Joshua Rivedal and Kathleen Myers for the i’Mpossible project, a mental health advocacy organization. Jonathan has also appeared on several mental health podcasts including The Depression Files, A New Dawn, and The Above Ground Podcast Arenburg has also consulted with the Government of Nova Scotia and the Minister of Mental Health and Addictions, the Honorable Brian Comer and Candidates for the New Democratic Party of Canada, on improving the mental health care system in Canada. Additionally, Jonathan was recognized in The Nova Scotia Legislature by the Honorable, Chris Palmer, Kings-North MLA, for his Book, The Road To Mental Wellness, his fight to make the mental health care system better. In addition, Chis acknowledged the support he gives to others.

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