As of late, my depressive and traumatic episodes have been really intense. Even so, when mental illness catches up, I know it’s only temporary.Tweet
Now that I have logged some serious time in psychotherapy, I can take time to review how far I have come; or, haven’t. While I choose to focus on my hard work and progress, I do look at both. Why? Well, if I don’t, how will I evaluate how therapy is helping me overall? My trick here is to not ruminate on what’s not working and celebrate my gains.
One of the major accomplishments is being able to cope, most of the time; in low stimulus environments. I achieve this through the use of mindfulness. I can keep going as long as the noise and environment aren’t constantly buzzing with activity. This is of course, assuming that I’m having a good day to begin with. It doesn’t always work, but it often does; the key here, is “It often does.”
However, lately, I feel like I am losing the war; I am way more agitated then, well, ever. And if that weren’t enough, my depressive episodes are more severe; not good! But am I really loosing, or is this what happens when mental illness catches up?
For me, this is also another benefit of therapy; I have learned that, while I may be experiencing more intense episodes, they are but momentary; they will subside. And it’s true, when mental illness catches up with me, I have always been able to overcome. How? Through the power of acknowledgement. “Ok, so I’m having a really rough go; just give yourself permission to say I am.” Then the next question becomes, “practice your mindfulness skills. Close your eyes, breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth; make yourself aware of where you feel tight in your body, loosen up.” I know that I am not under any real threat, but my body thinks I am, so I call attention to both my mental feeling in the moment and my physical discomfort from it.
So, remember, when mental illness catches up, try not to feel like you failed. Rather, omit to yourself that it is happening and use coping skills, like mindfulness to manage your way through it.