In those moments

In those moments.

If there’s one thing I have learned from living with a mental-health condition, it’s this. There seems to be an ebb and flow to these damn conditions. Especially depression and post-traumatic stress.

My last depressive episode was a bad one. Thankfully, I think I’m on the other side of it, though. Thanksgiving weekend, just a few weekends back, is the most difficult time of year for me. It’s this weekend that I was abducted by PTSD and have been held captive ever since.

Despite all my efforts, I was unable to resuscitate a young man who passed on the front porch of my aunt’s apartment building. So, naturally, I fall to the darkened power of depression every year. Therefore, it stands to reason that my PTSD symptoms are set afire, and like a mental migraine, they overcome my brain and send me to hell. Basically, I ache, not physically, but mentally.

Getting to know your triggers

In those moments, I struggle to see the surrounding good, the sense of life and even my own self-worth. While this is obviously a very troubling way to feel, it does however, allow me to feel the fog start to lift. Feeling so intensely blue, makes the emergence of the more chipper me very easy to detect.

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Which brings me to the now. Now, I am feeling more “normal.” If you are sitting there wondering how I can tell, well, let me explain. Firstly, it’s all about the energy level. I have more spring in my step and my endurance level is more like the old me. It’s like I am a video-game character, low on life force, (depression) until I suddenly come across a health kit – then BOOM! There is such a remarkable difference, that I have a “thank God” moment because of this contrast.

In those Moments
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Secondly, the need to isolate myself has decreased to baseline. Sure, I’d still prefer the solitude of my own company, but I have an actual desire to see others and appreciate that I am liked by some and loved by others. In those moments, I feel so thankful that I braved the mental-illness hurricane, long enough to let it pass; at the end of the chaos, I am alive! Always.

Need help? Don’t know where to turn? Check out our Mental Health Resources Page

So, there you have it, This is how I know that I am on my way to wellness once more. Again, the contrast is so remarkable that I almost am euphoric with joy. Furthermore, when I land on the brighter side of my life’s mental-heath journey, I am intensely more grateful for the life I have been given…

Please hang in there – it will get better. Then, there will be a period where you feel like you’re losing. See, it’s in these moments when we have to hold on to the knowledge that it will indeed get better. You got this.

Lemonade stand

Checkout the book I helped to write:

Lemonade Stand: Vol. III 

Created by Josh Rivedal and Kathleen Myre, Lemonade Stand: Vol. III is a compilation of 20 stories from those who have served in the emergency services and the military.  In it, the authors talk about their battles with PTSD, a debilitating and for many, a life-long mental illness.  So, if you are from the military or emergency services, perhaps this book can help you combat the feelings of isolation and fear that frequently comes with post-traumatic stress disorder. Sometimes, just knowing that there are others out there, just like you, can provide you with the strength and courage to speak up and or get the help you need. The intention of this book is to help with that…. You’re not alone.

Also, Lemonade Stand: Vol III was written to help combat the stigma that often accompanies mental illness, best of all, it attempts to give all who served their countries and communities a voice… Which is amazing!

Order today

If you are struggling please go here for help: Crisis Services Canada


Checkout our Mental Health Resources Page

Contact me on my Facebook page: The Road To Mental Wellness

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Categories: Mental Health, PTSD

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