In those moments

In those moments.

Jonathan Arenburg
Jonathan Arenburg

Jonathan is a mental health blogger, published author, and speaker. He has appeared in numerous newspapers and has been a guest on many podcasts.

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If there’s one thing I have learned from living with a mental-health condition, it’s this. There seems to be an ebb and flow to these damn conditions. Especially depression and post-traumatic stress.

My last depressive episode was a bad one. Thankfully, I think I’m on the other side of it, though. Thanksgiving weekend, just a few weekends back, is the most difficult time of year for me. It’s this weekend that I was abducted by PTSD and have been held captive ever since.

Despite all my efforts, I was unable to resuscitate a young man who passed on the front porch of my aunt’s apartment building. So, naturally, I fall to the darkened power of depression every year. Therefore, it stands to reason that my PTSD symptoms are set afire, and like a mental migraine, they overcome my brain and send me to hell. Basically, I ache, not physically, but mentally.

Getting to know your triggers

In those moments, I struggle to see the surrounding good, the sense of life and even my own self-worth. While this is obviously a very troubling way to feel, it does however, allow me to feel the fog start to lift. Feeling so intensely blue, makes the emergence of the more chipper me very easy to detect.

Which brings me to the now. Now, I am feeling more “normal.” If you are sitting there wondering how I can tell, well, let me explain. Firstly, it’s all about the energy level. I have more spring in my step and my endurance level is more like the old me. It’s like I am a video-game character, low on life force, (depression) until I suddenly come across a health kit – then BOOM! There is such a remarkable difference, that I have a “thank God” moment because of this contrast.

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Secondly, the need to isolate myself has decreased to baseline. Sure, I’d still prefer the solitude of my own company, but I have an actual desire to see others and appreciate that I am liked by some and loved by others. In those moments, I feel so thankful that I braved the mental-illness hurricane, long enough to let it pass; at the end of the chaos, I am alive! Always.

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So, there you have it, this is how I know that I am on my way to wellness once more. Again, the contrast is so remarkable that I almost am euphoric with joy. Furthermore, when I land on the brighter side of my life’s mental-health journey, I am intensely more grateful for the life I have been given…

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Jonathan Arenburg

Jonathan Arenburg is a mental health blogger, S speaker, writer, and published author; He is also the host of the mental wellness podcast, #thewellnesstalksHe has also appeared in the i'Mpossible's Lemonade Stand III. He has also been a contributing writer for Mental health talk, a column in his local paper. In addition, he has also written for the mental health advocacy organization; Sick Not Weak.Jonathan has also appeared on several mental health-related podcasts Including: A New Dawn, The Depression Files, Books and Authors, and Men Are Nuts. Since being put off work because of PTSD, Jonathan has dedicated his time to his mental wellness journey while helping others along the way.Educated as an addictions' counsellor, he has dedicated most of his professional life of eighteen years, working with those who have intellectual disabilities, behavioural challenges, and mental illness.He has also spent fifteen years in the volunteer fire service helping his community.His new book (2021), “The Road To Mental Wellness,” goes into detail about his life-long battle with depression, anxiety and more recently, PTSD. In it, he hopes to provide insight on how mental illness cultivates over a lifetime and, if not recognized and treated, how it impacts the entirety of one's life; right from childhood into the adult years. Jonathan lives with his two children in Nova Scotia, Canada.

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