Leave me the f*** alone!”

Just leave me the F*** alone

One thing that I have always found both sad and interesting about my own mental health journey is the paradigm between the health benefits of sleep and the lack thereof. Just imagine how much better life would be if nightmares didn’t constantly intrude on a good night’s sleep!

It certainly appears to me, that the key to better mental health is a solid regime of good night’s sleep over a long period of time. It is often said that consistency is key. This, as far as I can tell, especially holds true for good mental health and the quality of rest one receives.

Benefits of sleep on mental health.

It’s damn sad, really, this thing called PTSD. As time goes on I’ve grown to loathe it, yet I have failed over and over to put distance between myself and the most tragic and painful scenes I have ever strapped on the gear and responded to.

Read: Nightmares Aftermath.

Often, I hear myself saying inside my head, “Please, just leave me the f*** alone!” Similarly, I find myself verbalizing near-identical statements when flashbacks invade my mind, my eyes and my heart. Especially when I’m driving.

A complete list of PTSD symptoms.


Well, it’s true – cursing and swearing, yelling and retreating, never seems to be the cure; it nonetheless is my desperate effort at trying to get through some of the most unbearable and vivid memories. Oh, and I would give anything to have my physical symptoms disappear. I get tired of having headaches, random extremity pains and this god-awful tightness that is so bad my back and shoulders are full of knots.

The Road To Mental Wellness is made possible in part by readers like you… thank you for your support.

With all this said, I will once again close my eyes and begin the long nightly ritual of tossing and turning, of waking and being frightened. Not only will I try tonight with the hope that tonight will be “the night,” but I will continue tomorrow night and the night after and the night after that. For I have purpose, I have love and I am supported. Therefore, I shall find the strength to soldier on.


It’s finally ready.

I am excited to share that the i’Mpossible Project’s Lemonade Stand: Volume III (is available for order… today. Like, right now

I’ll be honest: This is pretty big. I, Josh, and Kathleen, have been curating this book for more than a year—fiddling with the right combination of stories, authors, and concepts. Kathleen and I have put our everything into this book. Absolutely everything. And you’re getting a little of us, as well as the twenty incredible authors and stories, when you get this book. It was exhausting and wonderful and a once-in-a-lifetime process to produce this book, and I am just now getting the confirmation I hoped for: It was all so incredibly worth it. Thank you for that. 

Josh Rivedal and Kathleen Myre

Order today

If you are struggling please go here for help: Crisis Services Canada


Checkout our Mental Health Resources Page

Contact me on my Facebook page: The Road To Mental Wellness

2021 Putting Our Differences Aside.
Let's work hard in 2021, putting our differences aside to fight for …
3 Things That Heighten My Gratitude
Out with the negative script and in with the good. Discover the …
4 fundamentals for authentic love
4 fundamentals for authentic love – I think we need to learn …
5 ways to maximize your mental health.
Today, I want to share my best 5 ways to maximize your …

Categories: Firefighter, Mental Health, PTSD


Please leave a comment and tell us what you liked about what you read.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: