My Darkest Moments

Jonathan Arenburg
Jonathan Arenburg

Jonathan is a mental health blogger, published author, and speaker. He has appeared in numerous newspapers and has been a guest on many podcasts.

Trigger warning: This post, “My Darkest Moments,” contains content that may not be suitable for everyone.

What I have learned from my darkest moments in life is this: it’s never once been so dark that I wasn’t able to see at least some light. Maybe it was a small thing a friend did to make me laugh or a coffee with a loved one. Perhaps, it’s the beautiful view of the valley where I live or the big, beautiful bay of Fundy only moments away. Whatever the source, It can still be tough, but over time, I have learned to see the smallest amount of light and hold on to it.

Similarly, while I believe that the saying “It’s okay not to be okay” is a good benchmark, I want more. I am perpetually concerned that I will slip into the abyss forever if I don’t move past simply being “okay.”

Coping on the hardest days of mental illness.

Let’s face it, life is hard, not just for you or me, but for every single human being. Equally true is the sad reality that some make it through, while others succumb to the pain.

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There are, of course, myriad reasons why some people manage while others can’t find relief from their mental pain. Remember, pain is pain and it’s real. Thus, we need to take everyone seriously and with compassion.

In my darkest moments, the pain is so intense and has plagued me for so long that leaving the earthly plane starts to seem like the only viable pain reliever. Ultimately though, it’s the little slivers of light that permeate through the dark that lift me up and save me.

Need help? Checkout my Mental health resources page.

Over the years, I have come to understand that I am not the only person invested in my well-being. My loved ones have also emotionally invested in my survival.

What does this mean? Well, quite simply, I’m not the only one living my life. A perfect illustration of this is my children: they need their dad. Armed with this knowledge, they have become a source of light that saves me in my darkest moments.

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So, I follow the light, but I do so chasing it right here on earth, for it is the accumulation of these little rays of light that lead me out of the darkness.

What are your little rays of light?

If you are struggling, please go here for help: Crisis Services Canada


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Jonathan Arenburg

Jonathan Arenburg is a mental health blogger, S speaker, writer, and published author; He is also the host of the mental wellness podcast, #thewellnesstalksHe has also appeared in the i'Mpossible's Lemonade Stand III. He has also been a contributing writer for Mental health talk, a column in his local paper. In addition, he has also written for the mental health advocacy organization; Sick Not Weak.Jonathan has also appeared on several mental health-related podcasts Including: A New Dawn, The Depression Files, Books and Authors, and Men Are Nuts. Since being put off work because of PTSD, Jonathan has dedicated his time to his mental wellness journey while helping others along the way.Educated as an addictions' counsellor, he has dedicated most of his professional life of eighteen years, working with those who have intellectual disabilities, behavioural challenges, and mental illness.He has also spent fifteen years in the volunteer fire service helping his community.His new book (2021), “The Road To Mental Wellness,” goes into detail about his life-long battle with depression, anxiety and more recently, PTSD. In it, he hopes to provide insight on how mental illness cultivates over a lifetime and, if not recognized and treated, how it impacts the entirety of one's life; right from childhood into the adult years. Jonathan lives with his two children in Nova Scotia, Canada.

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