So here I am, finding myself starting yet another medication. Although this is but one of many, I have willingly subjected myself to, I need to keep trying. I am hopeful that the chemical compound contained within the latest capsule will bring me some relief.
At this juncture, I have lost count of how many pharmaceuticals I have tried; all I know is that they have all proven to be ineffective. With each failed attempt comes a feeling of disappointment, but despite that, I must carry on.
If at first, you don’t succeed, try, try again.
Now, on this latest round – one I just started two days ago – I can say that my chemistry handles the initial stages of a new med pretty well the same. These new meds sedate me and immerse my mind in a thick blanket of brain fog.
Normally, I find the initial introduction quite debilitating and difficult to deal with; because I feel useless and like an even bigger burden to my loved ones. However, I remind myself that it is meant to quell the depression and PTSD so that I may return amongst the living.
You may be asking yourself why I put myself through one failed attempt after another? Well, I remember what it was like to be functional enough to enjoy life on a more consistent scale. Since losing the long battle with the post-traumatic symptoms, I have not been able to do so.
Also, I have a bit of built-in stubborn streak that I have had with me all my life, so as long as I’m alive I plan to win the war. When you think about it, no matter how bad things get, as long as you are alive, you have the opportunity to get better.
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So, with that said, I shall overcome this medication hurdle and hope for the best. You know what they say: if at firstyou don’t succeed, try, try again.