If I am being honest, especially with myself, I can win the day.
Every now and again, it’s good to take a moment and ask yourself: am I really being honest with myself and with those around me? As uncomfortable as the truth may be, it’s difficult to grow without it. So, today, I am going to do my best to come clean.
As of late, I find myself unwilling to confront my inner turmoil, a devastating depression that has embedded itself deep within. Perhaps I’m hesitant because of its level of intensity.
It’s so troubling in fact, that I remain silent largely because I don’t know what to do with it. You see, I have never been this way before and to be honest, I’m finding it difficult.
In my view, managing the pain can get us to a place where we can feel emboldened.
Equally troubling is the duration of this episode. It’s held me captive now for well over a month, producing a mind-numbing, non-feeling effect that I just can’t seem to shake.
The good news? I will eventually wrap my head around it enough to mould it into words and make sense of its intensity. But for now, I continue to go through the motions hoping that I will come around in time for Christmas. I am determined to enjoy the day!
I think it’s okay if we can’t always figure out the way of mental-illness pain; rather, it becomes more important to deal with the feelings, right here, right now.
In my view, managing the pain can get us to a place where we can feel emboldened to talk it out. If my experience has taught me anything, it’s this: I cannot deal with anything when my mental health conditions are at a seven, eight or nine. It’s just too much.
All of these elements are simply being honest with myself. I gotta be real if I’m gonna heal. Yes, it’s uncomfortable and yes, it’s true; discomfort makes us want to retreat but, let’s be honest, do you really want to be a level eight or nine as often as you are? I’m willing to wager that your answer is “no.” You may not feel it, but it is within you to make your life better. I know you can.
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Contact: The Road To Mental Wellness