I Feel Nothing For Christmas

Christmas is traditionally my favourite time of the year… So what’s happened?

Jonathan Arenburg
Jonathan Arenburg

Jonathan is a mental health blogger, published author, and speaker. He has appeared in numerous newspapers and has been a guest on many podcasts.

Just this week, I have started to snap out of a depressive episode that lasted for over a month. It was so severe, in fact, that I seldom left my bedroom, let alone my home. Unfortunately, a residual side effect of this episode is that I feel nothing for Christmas.

Even though the mental illness storm is starting to lift and I’m able to venture into the real world once more, I am surprised to discover I that I feel, well, I feel nothing.

If there was a way to measure the pulse of emotion, I’m certain that mine would be mostly a flat line with the occasional beep of short-lived joy.

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This is new to my experience. I can’t recall a time where I was meh about everything. A fact that I’m very troubled by, for sure. I guess one could say that I feel indifferent. I am frightened by the fact that I feel nothing for Christmas

Sadly, my love for Christmas is not immune to this monotone phenomenon. It may sound a little cliche but it’s traditionally the most wonderful time of the year for me. I have spent the majority of life putting family first. We are all on borrowed time, so naturally, when this time of year rolls around, I’m filled with excitement.

For many, simply going through the motions makes how they already feel worse.

Christmas can be very taxing on people mentally. The stress of the holidays accumulates and as it does, it robs many of the joy they are supposed to feel. I don’t even feel that. Stress is not a factor this year. I guess I can thank the lack of feeling for that. Good and bad in everything they say.

Ways to minimise stress during the holidays when you have depression.

Front and back cover of the road to mental wellness - 8 sings your relationship is hurting your mental health.
Find out more below – Written for therapeutic release, published in hopes it helps you.

I have, however, made up my mind that this numbing feeling is only temporary, and I will, like with many of my darkened days, get to the other side of it. For that is my resolve.

For many, simply going through the motions makes how they already feel worse. But is pushing yourself to get through the season really such a bad thing? In my view, it’s the right thing to do. You have only two courses to take in this situation; you can plug away at it and get through it or you can remove yourself from it. The latter is definitely less helpful.

Personally, because I feel nothing for Christmas, doesn’t mean I’ll let it be ruined.

I’m not suggesting that you ignore how you are feeling. and abandon your need for self-care. Rest when you need to and remove yourself if it gets to be too much. What I’m suggesting is that you are mentally pace yourself so you can make the most of the big day. This is my plan. I know that my mental health is such that I can’t immerse myself in all that hustle and bustle so I do what I can and make no apologies for it.

So, why do I think it’s fundamental to crawl your way through it? Because if you do, it gives you the opportunity to have a moment where the dark is lifted, the pain is subsided and you form memories that last a lifetime.

Personally, I’ll be dammed if I allow this lack of feeling to take out the first Christmas, I’m indifferent about. I will solider on because I will increase my odds of being reunited with my love for the season. If this happens, that’s all I will truly want for Christmas this year.

Jonathan Arenburg

Jonathan Arenburg is a mental health blogger, S speaker, writer, and published author; He is also the host of the mental wellness podcast, #thewellnesstalksHe has also appeared in the i'Mpossible's Lemonade Stand III. He has also been a contributing writer for Mental health talk, a column in his local paper. In addition, he has also written for the mental health advocacy organization; Sick Not Weak.Jonathan has also appeared on several mental health-related podcasts Including: A New Dawn, The Depression Files, Books and Authors, and Men Are Nuts. Since being put off work because of PTSD, Jonathan has dedicated his time to his mental wellness journey while helping others along the way.Educated as an addictions' counsellor, he has dedicated most of his professional life of eighteen years, working with those who have intellectual disabilities, behavioural challenges, and mental illness.He has also spent fifteen years in the volunteer fire service helping his community.His new book (2021), “The Road To Mental Wellness,” goes into detail about his life-long battle with depression, anxiety and more recently, PTSD. In it, he hopes to provide insight on how mental illness cultivates over a lifetime and, if not recognized and treated, how it impacts the entirety of one's life; right from childhood into the adult years. Jonathan lives with his two children in Nova Scotia, Canada.

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