The Power of PTSD Overtaken

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Sometimes PTSD is just too strong

When one has suffered from the pangs of mental illness long enough, one can start to feel when the tide of normality has shifted, and an impending flood of diagnosed psychological symptoms are not far off and will make their inevitable return.

I can feel this shift within, right now as I commit to this blog post; it boils up from somewhere deep down as if the world around me was shaking my symptoms lose from my core. I hate it.
I am having real trouble negotiating my way through the world as of late, the sound of diesel trucks roaring by envoke anger and the sounds of sirens serve as a reminder for, not only what I have had to give up, but as so why I am where I am at present. PTSD is not kind and monumentally difficult to shut off.
Despite being overwhelmed, overstimulated and a bit agitated by my surroundings, I’m trying. I decided it would be a good idea to go for a walk but the everyday comings and goings of early morning town traffic were put in their place and taken over by loud, ear-piercing sirens. In the mental mindset, I am in, the wail of an ambulance caused a short blip in time. I disassociated, checked out for a moment and unfortunately for me, I missed the crosswalk that leads to a quiet and beautiful walking trail that surrounds a protected marsh.
When I mentally re-emerged, I realized that I had missed the route to the walking trail by a long shot and opted to walk the block instead. I was so overwhelmed by the world around me that It felt like it was some sort of battleground, every noisy car, every bang and clang feel like chaos to me, the world felt aggressive and I was feeling threatened by the noise of the traffic.

sadly,  I’m still being overtaken by a beast that I have yet tame. I am trying to reintegrate myself into a world that is far too busy to understand that people like me can’t thrive in a world that doesn’t see the damage that lies just below the skin. Again, I will carry on.

Treatment for PTSD

My lesson? It’s clear to me that I should have taken the time to venture back to the peace and serenity of the marsh because I knew how I was feeling, thus I knew what was best for me, yet I ignored it. Sometimes I think we push ourselves in this world because we want to be a part of it, to be OK with it.

I must accept that I am not as far along as I want to be, Accept that I can only take on the world in small doses. It’s maddening and it’s upsetting but at the same time, it is what it is. At least I know where I stand and I will continue to place my mental shield over my face and plow through my PTSD and the anxiety

Please, keep fighting the good fight, remember, it will take grit, getting to know your symptoms and what you can tolerate. Once you know your triggers and how you feel about them you can adapt at the moment to help you get closer to mental wellness.

if you are suffering from PTSD or another mental illness, please reach out. I thank you for your service and you are still worthy and mean something. I believe in you!

If you are struggling please go here: Crisis Services Canada

Want help fund my book? donate GOFundMe – The Road To Mental Wellness – The book.

Trauma Specialist, Dr. Jeffery Hosick:

You may also enjoy: The Mental Health Work Injury Called PTSD

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