Post-Traumatic Stress Tested In Real-Time

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In three days it will be exactly one year since I was forced off of work due to mental illness. If you take the time to read through my blog site, you will undoubtedly start to see how long and difficult The Road To Mental Wellness can be. I hope that you can also see that despite the long and arduous battle, it is, without question worth the struggle to keep moving forward.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
You know, PTSD is a hell of a thing, the nightmares replaying the most horrific scenes in my head while I attempt to sleep can write off the rest of the night and even the days to follow. Fear of leaving my home, my mental made prison can really keep me in a perpetual loop of avoidance. I see potential emergencies lurking around every corner.

So, after all this time making myself scarce, sometimes for a week or two at a time,  only braving the world to see the people I am closest to or to sit down a discuss mental illness with other suffers, I decided to volunteer my time to help a political candidate in their bid for office in the federal election. 

I decided this because I need to start to gauge my tolerance in what is essentially a work environment, I felt honoured to be asked to help. and I thought, “What a pressure-free way of testing the waters”. This prospect excited me because all I want to is move on with my life and get to a point where I can manage well enough to walk among the working world regularly. 
Sadly, this social integration experiment is not going as well as I had hoped. Ever since I’ve started,  my startle response is at a constant high and I’m overwhelmed by the exposure to others bustling about. Overly loud vehicles rumbling by, just outside the office door, tear my already dwindled concentration away from what I am doing and my most triggering thing of all, sirens, lots of sirens. There is so much constant stimulation that I tire so quickly.

How to reduce stress in the workplace

At the end of most days, I am left in such a state of hypervigilance that I remain awake most of the night; this only compounds everything I have mentioned above when the next day rolls around.

My saving grace? The fact that I am a volunteer, I can do as little or as much as I can tolerate, I take full advantage of that flexibility. But, we all know that the working work demands one to be on all of the time, something that I simply cannot do. Testing out my PTSD symptoms in this voluntary environment has taught me that.

I will get there though, I will persevere and I will win the day… You can too, just keep working towards a solution that works so you can be productive and feel like your winning your mental disorder war.

if you are suffering from PTSD or another mental illness, please reach out. I thank you for your service and you are still worthy and mean something. I believe in you!

If you are struggling please go here: Crisis Services Canada

Want help fund my book? donate GOFundMe – The Road To Mental Wellness – The book.

Trauma Specialist, Dr. Jeffery Hosick:

You may also enjoy: The Mental Health Work Injury Called PTSD

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2 thoughts on “Post-Traumatic Stress Tested In Real-Time

  1. I know it's not easy. It's really not – this is a stressful job, which overlays that wicked \”s\” in PTSD. But you're doing it! You John are one of the most reliable, hardworking members of our team. You're making a big difference to the campaign. Keep taking it one day at a time – even one siren at a time! Know that you can take time out as needed. We are very lucky to have you.

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