MDD and the absence of sleep can amplify the depressive symptoms and make the world around you less tolerable.

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For the best part of a week and a half, I have lived among the millions of people who experience the better bulk of their lives in the wee hours of the morning. Their reasons for being night dwellers undoubtedly vary from person to person. Maybe it’s an accumulation of stress, work requirements or even a mental disorder. Yet others, known as night hawks, live in the darkness voluntarily.

While night hawks claim to function best when the world is shrouded in darkness, I take no pleasure in it. I especially detest my own personal darkness, a dark that has overridden my ability to sleep, granting me one or two hours a night. In my waking hours, I have been consumed by the heavy dread of depression. This depressive episode has been one of the longest and most painful to date. I have ventured outside of my home only a few times since it settled in unannounced.

One thing I have noticed about this particularly troubling bout of sadness is how mentally weak I feel. I have seldom had the depressive symptoms overpower me to the degree where the simplest tasks seemed daunting. No doubt the sleep deprivation played a role.

Working its way from the inside out, depression knew exactly what it was doing. It systematically robbed me of my confidence, my compassion and my ability to write. Simply put, I didn’t care. Missing out on some normally enjoyable obligations is something I rarely do, however, this time it really didn’t matter. It was as though my emotional centre was stricken with sickness and then flat-lined. I was incapable of feeling guilty for staying home; guilt is my typical response to missing out on things, but I wasn’t able to feel anything, to be honest.

More on depression

I’m quickly learning that major depressive disorder and the absence of sleep have devastating consequences. It’s as though a mental anesthesiologist injected me with the inability to feel any emotion whatsoever – well, except extreme sadness.

 

The importance of sleep was not lost upon me, nor was my resolve to get through this depressive episode. Despite the significant lack of sleep, I have tried to keep my cognitive wits about me. I know that none of the mental-illness episodes I experience consume me forever, so I was confident that I would weather this storm. I would put earphones in my ears and play some relaxing music, try the couch and even read. All proved helpful to a minimal degree, but some sleep is better than none.

The Importance of sleep

 

 

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So, If you are going through something similar, know that it will pass and that there are things you can do to minimize the impact of a depressive episode and lack of sleep. Mindfulness usually works for me; reading and gentle music, rain or ocean sounds may also be very helpful. I think it’s important to keep in mind that long bouts of any mental-health condition will pass. Just ride the wave, try these techniques, and you will emerge victorious!

 

 

 

Want more? Please go to my Books On Mental Illness Page.

You may also enjoy: But a Mere Crawl: Slowly making my way towards mental wellness.

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Published by Jonathan Arenburg

Jonathan Arenburg is a mental health blogger, Speaker, writer, and published author; He is also the host of the mental wellness podcast, #thewellnesstalks He has also appeared in the i'Mpossible's Lemonade Stand III. He has also been a contributing writer for Mental health talk, a column in his local paper. In addition, he has also written for the mental health advocacy organization; Sick Not Weak. Jonathan has also appeared on several mental health-related podcasts Including: A New Dawn, The Depression Files, Books and Authors, and Men Are Nuts. Since being put off work because of PTSD, Jonathan has dedicated his time to his mental wellness journey while helping others along the way. Educated as an addictions' counsellor, he has dedicated most of his professional life of eighteen years, working with those who have intellectual disabilities, behavioural challenges, and mental illness. He has also spent fifteen years in the volunteer fire service helping his community. His new book (2021), “The Road To Mental Wellness,” goes into detail about his life-long battle with depression, anxiety and more recently, PTSD. In it, he hopes to provide insight on how mental illness cultivates over a lifetime and, if not recognized and treated, how it impacts the entirety of one's life; right from childhood into the adult years. Jonathan lives with his two children in Nova Scotia, Canada. View all posts by Jonathan Arenburg