Today, I was informed that I was not going to receive rehabilitative supports from my work insurance because I am on workers’ compensation. Learning this triggered my PTSD and sent my anxiety into high gear, causing it to make up a disastrous future scenario well before finding out any real answers from the source. Although my insurance company from work not providing me supports because the majority of my recovery is being handled by worker’s compensation is understandable, it nonetheless, wreaked havoc on me psychologically.
When I spoke to the insurance company and got all the details, what they told me was reasonable and fair. Yet despite this, it still evoked a traumatic reaction that my body interpreted as a threat and whether real or imaginary. I am left with its undesirable repercussions.
This scenario reminded me today of all the bumps in the mental wellness road I have encountered along the way. It’s amazing how the smallest speed bump can morph into a major heave in the pavement. That being said, I am proud to say that I have been able to conquer them all. I have gone to battle countless times on my own behalf, so many times in fact that I have to, by now, be able to claim the status of a mental illness warrior. It has been so difficult getting past the roadblocks but has been a necessary part of my survival and worth every painful moment.
What makes the hurtles to help so strenuous is that I am not always up for the battle. The dark fog of anxiety or the feelings of dread as well as the numbness and reactivity left from PTSD, leave me with little mental strength to take on those who have a responsibility to ensure that they don’t award out claim monies to every applicant that fills out a claim.
They have so many requirements and loopholes it’s not an easy process. It’s enough to raise the anxieties of the healthiest of folk. If you don’t fight for it, you will lose the opportunity to get what you need.
I decided that I would take them on when I was able when I felt strong and mentally up for the task. Like many other aspects of my life, self-care has to be made the priority. Taking them on when I was able paid dividends. Taking time for me, I was able to go the distance and advocate for myself with resolve. Pushing myself full tilt would have ended in me losing my mental health battle because I would have given up and accepted defeat.
Go slow, know your limits
So, know your limits but never let anyone stand in your way to get better. It will be a long and painful ordeal, it doesn’t all have to be taken care of in one day. Just always remember, you are worth more than you think you are and deserve to get the help you need. Those days when you are feeling weak are nothing more than recoup days from a good day’s fight. Keep going! Your mental wellness is there for the taking.