So, you recognized and have finally acknowledged that there’s something going on inside, something that requires you to look deep within yourself.
One of the principal drivers for your decision to seek out answers is the constant disruption your unacknowledged feelings and behaviours are causing in your life. Your reactivity and frequent withdrawal from your every day is a source of continuous pain for not only you but also your partner, your rock that bears the brunt of your outbursts and your fluctuating moods.
One day, you decide that enough is enough. Someday your love is going to walk. This prospect makes your desire to stop hurting the one you love far greater than your fear to confront and deal with your aliments.
Sound familiar? This not so pleasant scenario I know all too well and sadly so does my partner. I would give anything not to have been afflicted with the unbearable pain ofPTSDbut, I am faced with it almost daily. My partner deserves more from me, the better version I can be. She is one of my main motivators for embarking on my journey to wellness and her support and love mean so much to me. Her kind loving nature has been available to me each and every time I fall.
She’s worth the pain and strife that this journey produces and it’s because of her love that I want to be present for her, alleviate her own burdens and reciprocate that love and kindness that makes me stronger. My dream is to one day enjoy our lives together and dammit I am going to achieve just that! I can never sufficiently articulate my gratitude for all that she has done. Thanks, beautiful! It’s difficult not to beat myself up when I know that my turmoil is spilling over into the one who props me up the most.
The nightmares often keep me awake at night and the exhaustion only magnifies the symptoms which impact our relationship. She’s a beautiful lady, a very loving soul. So as tough as it may be to confront my PTSDdemon, it’s made so much easier knowing that our love is worth saving. When I walk down the road of life I want to see her next to me, always. This is enough for me to keep fighting the good fight and utilize all the help and resources I can get my hands on, I want to ensure that my wellness journey and our lives together experience the longevity they both deserve.
I am a mental health advocate and mental health blogger. I Have my own battles with mental illness and want to share my story.
"Telling my story of my mental wellness journey, hoping that it will help others along the way."
View all posts by Jonathan Arenburg